What is Infidelity
Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...
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Who am I anymore?????
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So yesterday i woke up and felt this huge weight in my chest,i felt like i was going to explode,the reason....I DONT WANT TO BE WITH HIM ANYMORE!!!wow!! i never thought those words would come out of my mouth,i have been with him since childhood and now he appolls me..lets get to the problem,i dont know how to tell him,and i am worried where he will stay,and i feel bad because i dont want to be with him....OKAY,that just sounds strange.i say to myself did he feel bad when he cheated?did he care if i stayed or went?has he no idea after 15 years how that can affect somebody?does he think i will continue to put up with it?PROBABLY NOT,am i just mad?or do i really want to leave?HELP?????
Posted on 06/19/08, 09:06 pm |
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You're searching for that 'soft spot to land'. a safe place where there is no pain.
We all want that too. Take care. 
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your feelings are NORMAL my husband was my best friend/soulmate we got along as if God himself made it so.
I have put up with 8 years of his drug abuse his comming and going when ever he felt like it and his endless spending of family funds. His abusing everyone, even his own friends want nothing to do with him. Once he has the affair....I did not want to touch him. He moved out for 2 months and I felt like I was free of cancer. WOW what a feeling. Well like a total idiot I took him back and my life is worse than ever. IF I COULD LEAVE HIM I WOULD ....if I had the means to move on I would. Once the chance comes my way I will make tracks...like nothing you have ever seen before. I don't want him to touch/talk or even be near me. He is a sloth, slob, sexist pig and he will never change. You are not alone. HUGS to you it can only get better once we free ourselves of these pigs. :)
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well, it is not an easy thing you are asking. Did he show any remorse for his actions? That you woke up and wanted nothing to do with him, is pretty strong. I'm not an advocate of divorce, but if a seperation would help YOU clear your head and figure out what is best for you, then I would suggest finding a place you can go to be you for a while. Parents, friends, your own apt. Somewhere you can focus on being yourself.
People who have cheated, have a lot of personal work they have to do. They need to work hard to earn back the trust you originally had in them, then continue to work on getting the love from you back. That so many are commenting that their spouse is not working on it, or even taking advantage of them, is horrible. If that is the case, then my suggestion is to get out as soon as possible. Find a place where you feel safe, and are able to work on your self.
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I hate where I am. Stuck. It seems like forever. I love my kids. That is why I'm here. If you are free - go. Get out. While you can.
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I think it's a phase. What comes next I don't know. When I first discovered my H's infidelity, I wanted him more than anything. Now I imagine my life without him. I have asked to divorce 4 times. He won't have it. So I am staying and we are going to counseling. Maybe he will come to realise there is nothing there anymore too.
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I'm right there with you I wake up every morning now for about the past week angry because I too am at the point that I want him out. Cant stand to be in the same room with him etc.. I have told him this and still he wont leave. Today we start back in marriage counseling. I think its possible that you have just had enough of the pain and the lies and you want out for your own happiness. Its called self preservation. I understand your feelings. Don't feel guilty for wanting peace.
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