Infidelity Support Group

1. There are many different situations in cheating so it's hard to say if one will cheat again. The cheaters who are remorseful and want to earn their trust back to the spouse are the one's that I believe won't cheat again. Many are ashamed and realize the pain they caused and I wouldn't think that they would want their spouse to ever hurt again.
I'm not married so this is just my opinion.

2. I was the OW to a MM once. (Once was too many)

3.Can the unfaithful become faithful again? I think it is possible for some but not all. As you see on this site, there are many that have been cheated on more than once.

4. I was the OW who was in love with the former MM. I struggle everyday to not contact him. It's been 9 months and it's still hard.
My heart is struggles with my head but my head is winning. I am on the Out of the Fog group so that I can get support when I feel weak. It's kind of like going to an AA meeting. We have each other to lean on because we know the pain we caused and we do not want to do it again.

1. It all depends on if the person that is doing the cheating is strong enough to not be tempted by someone else. I have been married for 10 yrs and in that 10 yrs I have cheated more than 1 time.

2. Yes, in total throughout the 10 yrs I have had 1 that lasted 2 months, 1 that lasted 2 yrs, 1 that was a one night stand (oral only), 1 that was with an ex/bf from my high school dating that lasted 1 month, 1 that was a friend of my old high school flame (only 3 times), and the one I am currently in that has been going on for 3 months (but did call it off back in Feb after just 1 night, called him back up 3 months ago).

3. In most cases yes, but it all depends on the individual if they can resist the temptation of another person.

4. Yes I do find it hard.

1. No, I don't believe "once a cheater, always a cheater" is accurate.
2. No, I haven't had multiple affairs.
3. Yes of course, the unfaithful can become faithful again.
4. No, I think it will be super easy to be faithful now after being unfaithful. I learned a lot, and dealt with a lot of heart ache, having never been caught, and never ever want to experience it again.

There was a very long running post on this some months back. Anyway, happy to add my two cents worth:

1. No, not if you truly appreciate how much damage you have done. (It took my wife's affair to appreciate what I had really done).

2. Yes.

3. Yes, if you truly appreciate what you have done, how good you really have it at home and are truly sorry.

4. Different for everybody but until you really really REALLY realise how you have or almost have destroyed the best thing in your life, yes, it could happen again particularly if you think you could get away with it. Sorry, trying to be honest.

As the OW and the cheater... Here is my input..

1. Do you believe, being the OM/OW, the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater" is accurate?
No, I do not think that at all. I think that people stray for a reason. Something went wrong in their marriage, something was missing.. Nothing comes out of the blue, but people change, situations change...

2. Have you had multiple affairs?
Being with my H. I had 1 affair. Now we are seperated. Call it what you will.

3. From your perspective, can the unfaithful become faithful again?
This is pretty much the 1st question, just worded differently. I believe that anyone can become faithful again. Again, I believe if someone really wants to change, they can.

4. Do you feel it will be difficult to remain faithful now, after being unfaithful?
Absolutely not. I think that people learn from their mistakes. For some people no, I think that they get this thrill and leads them to be "serial cheaters" ... But for most people, they can change from all of the guilt and problems they have caused.

I hope this helped you, even a little bit. People grow and mature from things they have been through. It is the same thing with an affair. When you come out of the fog, you think back and say "what the hell was i thinking" and would never do it again.
People change throughout their whole life from every mistake they've made...