Infidelity Support Group

I told people but my marriage is ending after 29 years. I called family within minutes of finding out. I couldn't handle it. They were afraid I would forgive him. My break up was pretty bad and I wasn't given a choice.

Only you can decide what is best for you. If you think you can save your marrige, go for it. It will take a ton of work but if he is worth it, do it.

tell who you want to tell.

If you're trying to repair your marriage I suggest you DON'T tell your family. They will circle the wagons to protect you from 'the enemy'. They will probably always see him as the person who hurt you, even when you are ready to forgive. If they are your family, that I just what families do.

WHen my dad had his (first) affair, my mom made HIM tell her mother and father. They were honenst because my grandpa and step grandpa stay with us for a month in the year and would have noticed them going to marriage counseling and whatnot. They told grandma (her mom) because she babysat us a lot while they worked on their marriage. Other than that, they weren't open about the affair until much later. They shared it with some friends of the family and the people in their old bible study after another couple admitted that they were struggling getting past some infidelity issues.

I think that if you are needing support from friends and family, you have every right to be honest and tell them. As far as telling others goes, maybe spreading rumors around the neighborhood isn't a good idea. But it's HIM that should be embarrassed by the behavior, not you.

I told our closest friends (3 couples) and our families. I was devestated and wanted support. In a way I wanted them to see him as the enemy. Now that we are trying to work it out I wish I hadn't been SO forthright with what had happened. My family looks at him very differtly. You do what you need to do to survive the day. That's what I feel.

I told!! If someone asked me how we were doing I told them what was going on. I have no regrets. We are still together and working on repairing the damage he caused. I didn't do anything wrong in the relationship I didn't cheat. So I have nothing to hide. My husband has supported me on this 100%.

I have told 1 friend and 1 coworker as she is going thru the samething. I screwed up and cheated, have not told my husband, have no plans to. The guilt bothers me everyday, wanting to tell my H, but I know it would mean loosing him, and I do not want to loose him, I believe it is a personal-case by case decsiion to make

I told everyone... and there are two ways to look at it...in some ways ,now that we have reconciled and are working on saving the marriage it makes things awkward for me.. I feel like some people are judging me, us etc....and who knows? maybe they are ..maybe they're not and its just my imagination....many of our friends are supportive etc.
on the other hand... I feel that when the spouse keeps it a big secret from everyone... it may allow for a repeat of the affair or the cheating behavior in the future because there were no consequences...no one knew...and the spouse forgave before..so what the hell.... Dr. Harley who wrote His Needs Her Needs-How to Affair Proof Your Marriage and After the Affair...and has the marriagebuilders.com web site..is a big believer in NOT keeping secrets...the affairs thrive in secret..that's what makes them exciting...reality...the reality of facing up to what they did...dealing with the disapproval of loved ones, family, friends...helps ensure that the person does NOT ever behave this way again!
That is one thing that I am POSITIVE of...that my husband will never have an affair again as long as he lives...

Sometimes we don't have a choice, my H has an affair with a co-worker 14 years younger than him. The company knows and many of my H friends work there.

i told people about mine and i'm still married to him because i couldn't handle it on my own