Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an u...
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things I did...
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My D-Day (or discover Day of the affair) was April 14th 2008. Since then I have:
* Changed my cell phone numer * I am moving in 3 weeks to a location he does not know about * Told him I was chaging jobs and wouldn't tell him where * Totally went No Contact What has happened to me since I just got him out of my life... I am moving to a new apartment. It is $400 cheaper than where I am now and I get to keep my cats and quit my second job. I have been getting checks in the mail, refunds from the orthodontist, one from the bank...seriously like $500 in the past 2 weeks. I have been doing more outside of the home with friends, going to dinner and just having fun. I also met a wonderful man who is the total opposite of my H. He is so open and has so many values and goals I do in life. We are friends now but are going to see where life leads us. I am filing for divorce next friday. I asked my H if he would sign the papers and he said "fine" very quickly and changed the subject. He made his bed and now must lie in it. I know it is killing him that I am not sitting home crying and begging for him to come back to me. I did that once before and it continued my hell for another 2 years of being used and ignored. REALLY think to yourself is it all worth it? Is it worth them not changing? Possibly cheating again? or worse infecting you with an STD or HIV? Our spouses are broken people and we can't do anything to fix them. They have chosen to fill their voids with other broken, non-moral people and they will never change or get better until they want to change themselves. It's now time for YOU to step up and be strong...that alone will send such a message that you will not sit by and let this happen, you will not be a victim. Trust me, I was on a roller coaster for the past few weeks, and I even missed several days of work. You just have to make the decision to do for yourself now...trust me, things will be ok. Posted on 05/11/08, 12:05 pm |
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Bravo, Ari. Good luck with your new life and maybe, new love... 
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i've read several of your posts and i'm happy to hear that you're moving on. i wonder if it is easier for me to stay or if i'm just staying for the kids. if i am staying for the kids, is that a bad thing? most days, though, i think i really love her.
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I don't think you can judge others by your situation. I'm happy that you are moving on and getting your life together. However not everyone cheats for the same reason, and if both partners are willing to work on things and fix them it's not a bad thing.
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Girl, sounds like you are getting it together! Hang in there and remember you are so much better then him. GOOD LUCK !!!
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No you are right and some people choose to work on the relationship. I just can't, it's not in me to do it. But whatever you choice is you do have to take care of yourself...you were hurt badly and need to heal either way. I know in my situation that I am being blessed because I am finally making the right decisions. I did stay and ignored the signs and was hurt for another year. If you can fix your troubles and you can continue with a great marriage then I say great, good luck to you. Mine is over and I am moving on and I am so much happier now.
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Good for you. I hear you loud and clear as if you are singing my song. I know exactly where you are and I'm happy that you decided to finally end a part of your life you just can't change. I have decided to go to counselling and if it helps my marriage great but if not I need help to get to where you are. To finally say enough is enough and I'm leaving for the sake of my children and me. Thank you for your post. Good luck to you.
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Good for you!! I left my First H after he cheated on me..again.. I had had enough. The mistake I made was not working on myself. I met a man a year later, (our first date was my and SBXH 2 wedding anniversary..lol)who treated me good. Spent time with me, talked, laughed, but there was warning signs and things that if I had worked on myself I wouldn't have ignored. He was against cheating(so he had me believe, truth was, he was against being cheated on, couldn't see both sides of the coin) We married a year later, and within the year the 2 sec bj happened. A year later slept with escort, I found out a year after (but I knew) Worked it out, 4 years later (I'm sure there was more but only using what I know, not think) affair with XW ect. Now I sit here, confussed, with a light. I have come to realize that the common denominator in all of this is ME. I for some reason pick these men to spend my time with. I have been working on myself, trying to find self love, (now just need to turn it into self respect) I wish you the best, but please proceed with caution towards your new friend.
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