Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...
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What is wrong with me?
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I knew that my husband had a physical affair months before he told me. He actually admitted it last week. Thsi was after I found a second cell phone that he had hidden from me. This is the 3rd time that I have caught him hiding a cell phone.
We have been married for 17 years. He says that he is done with her and that he wants to rebuild with me. The problem is that I don't trust anything he does anymore. I don't know how to get past that. Also I feel a little stupid for wanting to try again with him. After all the times that he has lied to me, how can I still want to be with him? I don't know that I will ever trust him again. I'm driving myself crazy trying to find out what the OW looks like, I watch everyone I see out and think "is that her". I check his pockets, his cell phone, his wallet, track his cell phone calls online. Every time I see an unusual number, I google it to find out what it is. I think I'm driving myself crazy. I'm a nervous wreck trying to keep everything together and trying to seem normal for our 3 kids. But I am always wondering why he did what he did. He says that he loves me and wants to be with me. But that he "likes" her alot. And he feels sorry for her. I keep expecting to come home and find that he is gone with all his stuff. He said that he could not hurt me like that. WTF, having an affair is his idea of not hurting me??? How can I believe his lies? and still want to be with him?? Physically and emotionally??? Posted on 05/07/08, 03:05 pm |
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It's difficult to get through! I wouldn't try doing it without counseling! Go seperately,you both need to take care of yourself before you try the couples work! 
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God I feel for you, this is my story as well. I do all the same things you do and I signed divorce papers last week. Seems like they all have the same story, love you, always have, never stopped loving you what the hell, what bullshit. If they loved you so much then WHY. Don't know if you'll get the answer to that question. Talk to someone that you love, you need support. Don't let yourself get to far down, I did that and ended up in the phyc ward fr 2 months. Go see your doctor as well, tell him what is going on and at least he can give you something that will help you from going of the deep end. God love you,and stay on this site, it helps
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I hung in for a year trying to do that and it's no way to live. (I found out he had another one lined after the first, so now getting divorced.) Try counseling, he needs to take responsibility for it and let you work through ALL your feelings no matter how long it takes you. He can't just sweep it under he rug or it WILL happen again. (((HUG)))
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Oh, and by the way...there is NOTHING wrong with you!!! Everything you are feeling is COMPLETELY normal! :)
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I know every one suggests counseling but I've found that once a liar, always a liar no matter how much counseling is involved. My husband will never gain my trust again. Too many lies, too many times. He's also lost my respect for good. I'll stay married to him because it is easier. Besides I would never marry again so why bother with a divorce. As of today, Ive told him he is free to do what ever he likes, I don't care any more. I have no strength left to worry about what he's doing or who he's doing it with. He's also free to take his own vacations and go with anyone he wants to.
If there is reincarnation, I'm coming back as a lesbian.
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o.k. the first couple of days is all I did was scream and cry and felt like I was going to explode with emotion there is nothing wrong with trying to work it out or being suspiscious
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I am sorry...I think it is called LOVE. But you two don't stand a chance if he still has contact with the OW. He needs to get rid of her and focus on you two. If he doesn't maybe it's time to get rid of him!! Good Luck.
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i just broke up with my boyfriend for the exact samething. he also told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me but kept cheating. i too want to work this out with him but affraid that he will do this again like before
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