What is Infidelity

Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an u...

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Surfing the Internet for Porn
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So I'll admit our sex life has not returned to normal since I learned of the affair (about 2 months) and my H has a very very very strong sex drive.

I do check his computer to see where he has been, checking history, doesn't show any porn sights.

But when I go into the "internet files" it shows porn sights.

So he has obviously learned to delete the porn sites from one place, but doesn't know obviously I know where else to look.

Two questions:

1. Should I be concerned he is deleting other things?
2. Should I be concerned he is on porn at this time?
Posted on 04/24/08, 07:04 pm
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Reply #11 - 05/03/08  12:59am
" Im in a similar situation we decided to try and work things out evrything seems kind of normal but we have no physical relationship plus he is into internet porn too like your H. He never really bothered with it until now that we are going thru this. I dont know why he choses to do it but I am in limbo on confronting him. I found out like you did. It is a concern I think they should be paying attention to their wife. Aside from this my H has been in the chat room for adults he hasnt been in that one since I confronted that issue. I wonder if they dont want to be intimate due to guilt? "
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Reply #12 - 05/03/08  7:21am
" I agree. He should not be looking at porn, not right after you have been having relationship trouble in the first place. He doesn't seem to have learned his lesson yet.

I didn't look at porn but I did go to sites like XMatch where you meet people in your local area wanting to chat online or meet solely for sex. I went there a few times even after my H thought I was no longer doing anything wrong. I feel completely guilty and wrong for doing that now. "
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Reply #13 - 05/03/08  8:27am
" I thought about this the other day. At first I thought I would be better off if my H had become addicted to porn instead of having an affair,but I don't think it would be any easier to deal with at all.

I would be suspicious if he is talking with someone on these sites or if he is substituting porn for sex with you.
But I don't agree with longhaul about you trusting already.
#1 he is hiding this activity from you for some reason
#2 it has only been 2 months
#3 he is hiding this activity from you for some reason.
Your trust will need to be earned, and you get to choose when YOU are ready to trust. No one can tell you when that will be.
I would get it out in the open, or if you have a counselor ask them how they think you should handle it.
Deal with it now though, it isn't going to go away.

Good Luck. "
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