Infidelity Support Group

I was also blamed for the affair. To this day, he has not tried to come back, per se, but still tries to maintain some control over me. He seems to still need the emotional connection to me to some extent as well. My feeling is that when he left the marriage, he forfeited all rights to any kind of relationship with me, other than a civil one that parents should have for the sake of their children.

He has gone so far as to try to talk to me about issues in his current relationship with the "woman" he cheated on me with. It's like he can't completely let go and it is really upsetting. I just want to make as clean a break from him as possible (we have two kids, so it can't be a total break) and move on with my life. He just doesn't seem to be willing to let me do that.

Are you sure we don't have the same husband? LOL

When we moved in Dec. 1st 2007 was his second and only chance. He wanted out because he was "not happy." The affair just came about 2 weeks ago and he was already moved out since February. mine sounds like yours too Mom, he needs me in his life for some reason or he wouldn't be calling my daughter 5 times last night asking her where we are moving to. I just know in a short while the fog will clear and he will be upset and try to call me and maybe even want me back or to come back and I just CAN'T.

I have never been blamed for the affair. The affair was 4 months long, off and on, I was not aware of it during that time, he did blame me for things in that time period which I believe was a way of him justifing what he was doing. Once he confessed he took 100% responsibility for his actions and has never blamed anything on me. He actually gets very upset for almost living his life without me. I get angry with him for not being pissed off at the OW but he claims he had more at stake, and it was ultimately his fault.

My husband blames me for his affair. He told me things from, us growing apart because of MY busy lifestyle, we had nothing in common anymore, and I pushed him into having an affair (Blah,blah,blah). It is so painful for me to think about this, but I have gained so much strength since finding this site on Sunday night. What I'm finding right now is that hidden beneath the surface of my painful emotions are painful thoughts. However it has helped me to realize that by uncovering these emotions it is critical for healing and also to important to cope effectively.