Infidelity Support Group

Please help me out. I need to know if I'm losing my mind, or is this a sign my husband is cheating on me?

So me and my husband went out of town last weekend. I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with him and having a much needed get away. Turned out to be quite the opposite. He was texting with one of my best friends (we'll call her Laverne) the entire weekend. I'm not talking about one here and there...I'm talking about 124 messages on Saturday and 146 messages on Sunday. Where we went is about 3 hours from here. We were staying at my other friend's house. We'll call her Shirley. Laverne came over Friday night to see us. Shirley and I went to bed around 2:00, my husband and Laverne stayed up the entire night talking. Shirley got up around 7:00 to go to work, my husband and Laverne were STILL up talking. Shirley took Laverne home, husband came to bed. I woke him up around 11:00 to go for a drive with me. At this time, I wasn't really thinking of anything suspicious. Sure the staying up all night thing was a little weird as they haven't done that before, but I put it aside. The entire day, from 11:00 until we went to bed at midnight, he was texting again. I was starting to get bugged by this. He ignored a party that night, sat in the living room, texting away. Laverne was at a different party. He doesn't text that much. Shoot, he'd have about 10 per day, and most of them from me. After he fell asleep, I went to look in his phone to try and figure out what was going on. I needed reassurance that there wasn't anything. At this time I wasn't even sure who he was texting with. He cleared the phone out. No messages, nothing. Even the call history was erased. Finally around 3:00 in the morning, a text came in. Of course I took advantage of my comatose husband and looked. It was from Laverne, "Good night, sweet dreams, I love you."

I was really puzzled by this. Why would MY best friend be saying that to MY husband??? I couldn't sleep the entire night. I woke my husband up Sunday morning around 9:30. Said "let's go, I need to get home to do my homework for school." On our way out of town, we met Laverne and her boyfriend at a restaurant for some brunch. Let me tell ya...the new awkwardness between her and my husband was way too obvious. Even Laverne's boyfriend noticed it. We left to head home. Of course, he texted his whole way home. When I asked him who he was talking to, he said, "Nobody really. Just Laverne." A few minutes later, I noticed he got a picture. "Oh, you have a picture! What is it?" "Oh it's nothing" then I noticed he deleted the message. WTF???

We got home, he was still texting with her. He was texting her through dinner. "Honey, remember our rule? No texting or calls while we have dinner." He made that rule because I text a lot with my friends. Later I confronted him, I told him I wasn't comfortable with the amount of talking they have been doing. He paid more attention to Laverne than he did to me. It was very odd, and I wasn't happy about it. I didn't say anything about the message I saw. When I asked what it was that they had so much to talk about, he just said "Oh we're just b.s.ing." Really? Ok.......Then he went on to say it was so flattering to see me get jealous. Jealous??? Try suspicious! I told him I wanted to see his messages. After a struggle, he finally gave me his phone. Of course a lot had been deleted. But there were a few, and I didn't like them. "Oh you were so awesome the other night." "You felt so good." When I asked him what that meant, he said, "Oh she was just talking about how nice it was to hang out this weekend." ....................? He then snatched the phone away from me before I could go into his sent folder to see what he sent to her. A little defensive, IMO.

Monday rolls around. I'm furious. I'm confused. Nothing is making any sense at all what-so-ever. I "watched" our carrier's account online. I was literally watching those two texting back and forth to each other all day. They shared 133 messages. I would text him, he wouldn't reply for about 1/2 hour. During that 1/2 hour, he would be talking to Laverne. I would ask him later why it was taking so long for him to return my message, he would say "Oh I was busy and boss was around." There's another flag. When he got home, I asked how much he talked to Laverne. He said "Oh, only a couple times." Another red flag. I told him I knew he was lying. After I proved to him I had my facts, I told him to prove it to me that I'm wrong. Again, he had deleted messages. I gave him 10 days to move out. Told him he needed to prove me wrong in order to stay.

So we'll see what happens today.

A couple of pointers as to why this is all so weird: He hardly talks to my Laverne. His distance at Saturday's party is weird because all the people at the party are HIS friends, not mine. Laverne is my husband's ex girlfriend from 10 years ago. They led their seperate lives and didn't even talk for those 10 years. It wasn't until last year that they reunited. I'm not a jealous person, I had no problems being friends with her. In fact, she became one of my best friends. My husband's texting habbits aren't anywhere near this high. I do a lot of texting but with random people, not one person. He's lying to me.

Please help me understand.
Posted on 04/22/08, 11:04 am