Infidelity Support Group

Nine years? It may be time to get a divorce. Something there was NEVER addressed or it would NOT be lingering after nine years.

Im sorry for yourpain.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

If I were you I would offer him an ultimatum and demand that your husband not go back to the family business if these women are still there since it bothers you this much and if he won't do that then leave him. He should respect your feelings at this point. Its not about his parents and what they think. He needs to prove to you that he won't be unfaithful again and that will be hard if he is going to work every day around these women. Plus he will be tempted by being around them. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother but she doesn't live in your marriage with this man and can't possibly know how to tell you whether to stay with him or not. Do what you feel is right for you at *this* time in your life. It doesn't matter if it all happened 9 years ago, he cheated, wasn't honest about it at first, you were asked to leave the job while his parents, your in-laws, kept the other two women on staff. How unfair is that?? I probably wouldn't talk to my in-laws if they did that to me. Its all totally wrong and its a bad situation all around, especially if he has the gall to go back to this job knowing these women are still there and knowing you don't feel comfortable with him going back.

I'm a dork. I didn't read this post fully and posted at 1:18 am on a bit of nightquil :).

I'm sorry for my ignorance. Hope I didn't respond like this to other posts!

What I meant to say is that your husband should not go back to that job. Even twenty years later, no contact is still no contact. He may be thinking in his head

"whats done is done"

But in YOUR HEAD

"what was put to rest is resurrected".

Its wrong of him to do this to you. Give him the ultimatum-your marriage, or the job. I cannot believe a family business has been hosting trash for nine years ( or longer?) with those women being there. Thats horrible.

Yea, it is too much for you to have to go through that again. I don't know if you need to divorce, but he should stay away from the women.

Thanks for your comments. I really needed to hear that my in-laws are crazy not me. I do need to mention that I did give him that ultimatum 5 years ago leave or that's it for me. He did leave the company for 5 years. However, financially it was a bit of a struggle. Of course, he was working but not making what he was making. I told him to go back. Before he went back, he did ask me if it would be o.k. His father had been asking him to come back as well. We did great those 5 years he was away. He really matured and turned into the husband I always wanted. I really believe at this point it is me. I can't throw away 25 years ( 18 years of marriage/7 years of courtship) It really started from a comment from one of the employees. Also I wasn't let go from the company, I never worked there. I have my own career that I love. It was our plan my husband and me to work there so maybe they would leave. However, that didn't work. I actually feel better about everything since I have been validated. This isn't a normal family!!!!! ( His family that is)