What is Infidelity

Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...

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Discussion:
One sided marriage
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I'm so mad at my H right now that I can't hardly stand him. It's been almost 8 months since d-day. Since I found out our sex life has been on and off to say he least. Off on his part. I felt like I needed him more after I found out. Now when I ask for it, it's like I'm pushing him. He says he needs to take it at his own pace and for me not to pressure him. I don't think he is still involved with anyone. Just not sure that this is where he wants to be. If it wasn't for the kids and his parents (both of which don't know), I think he would have checked out. Maybe this would have been a good idea at first, just to see if we wanted to try again after being apart, but now we're already in it trying to make it work. Told him today I would not ask anymore, it would have to come from him. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one trying to make it work. He thinks because he is still here that he is trying too. Has anyone else had this problem?
Posted on 05/12/07, 06:05 pm
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Reply #1 - 05/12/07  7:59pm
" Kind of. My husband said his affair was just attention and sex. But it doesn't seem like he wants sex with me. I've said this to him, then within a few days he makes a move. I feel like I'm pressuring him into it. Now I just stopped trying. "
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Reply #2 - 05/13/07  2:28pm
" it's more than sex...I know you know this, but using sex as a gauge?...might want to take a look at why his rejection is so maddening and why YOU REALLY want sex in the first place...beyond just the human need...is it to connect, or to prove he loves you and still wants YOU, not her, is it to get his attention, is it b/c it's what you think he wants you to be or do...look inside you--just a thought :o) once I asked myself these questions, well, I didn't like the answers for one, but also I have found that I wanted sex for the wrong reasons...sex now for me, well, it's just different, it's becoming more than just a basic human need as well as all those reasons above...anyway... "
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Reply #3 - 05/13/07  2:29pm
" I meant to say it is becoming much less of any of those reasons above...make sense? "
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Reply #4 - 05/13/07  9:15pm
" Have the two of you had counseling? If he is the one that cheated then he needs to work a lot harder at this than you are and it doesn't sound like he is doing that. "
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Reply #5 - 05/14/07  2:10am
" I stayed with my husband for 10 additional years after I found out about his affair. He stayed for the kids but I was too stubborn to see it then. I tried to make it work but truth is his mind and heart were somewhere else .... wish I had been able to accept it back then because I wasted 10 years of my life trying to fix something that no longer was there. I wish u the best!! "
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Reply #6 - 05/14/07  2:07pm
" Sounds to me like he's a control freak, and this is just one more way of controlling you, the relationship, and his own guilt. At what point is going to stop thinking of himself and start thinking about YOU? You called it like it is: a one-sided marriage, and everyone is all about HIM. What about YOU, Hon? "
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