Adultery is generally defined as consensual sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than his or her lawful spouse. In many jurisdictions, an unmarried person who ...
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Can i forgive my self
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In October 06 i cheated (one night stand with someone we new) on my partner i loved him so much and felt i was never getting anything back out the relationship. he caught me in the act and left immediatly. i chased him and when i finally got home he was packed and ready to leave when i looked at him he was crying (this is an emotion id never seen in him even when his muched loved gran died) i could see what hurt i had caused we talk and i moved back to my parents and we tried starting over again we went on dates, we walked we went on breaks, its been a year and we have got our own place and we have never been happier the sex is amizing and he cares so much we do everything together. i just cant forgive my self i think about how stupid i was and how much i hurt him. i love him but i am scared that i will lose him if i dont let go like he has.
Posted on 12/17/07, 11:12 am |
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I am no expert, but maybe you could try going to a counselor and talking about it. They may be able to give you some tips on how to let go and forgive yourself. 
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You can forgive yourself with time. You've seen for yourself how much pain an affair causes not only your partner, but you. I'll be honest with you, I'm not sure that this site is going to help you heal that much. You'll hear a lot of stories about how devastated we all are from the affairs. I'm afraid it will only reinforce the disappointment you have in your actions. There are some former cheaters on this site that might be willing to befriend you and help you leave the past behind. I find sometimes that this site makes me think even more about my wife's affair. So, I'm probably going to step back for a while. Anger and depression about the affair cycle from time to time. Spending too much time here and reading about everyone's pain tends to send me back to the anger.
If you've learned your lesson and understand how much he loves you and how much your affair hurt him, then leave the past behind. Is there some reason that you don't trust yourself? If there is a danger that you are close to doing it again, then I would say don't forget. But, if you've learned from the mistakes then just go on with your life.
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I can relate to your problem with forgiving yourself. I struggle with that a lot too. Sometimes I still feel so dirty. It's strange. My husband has forgiven me, but I never go a sinlge day without thinking about what I did. I do know, however, that it is possible to forgive oneself. I have a friend who cheated several years ago and with time and counseling she was able to move on. maybe counseling is a good idea.
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