Infidelity Support Group

You probably won't like this. People go outside their marriage to find what is missing in it. I have a friend on here who gives me the love and affection I don't get at home. Is that an affair. I do find myself very drawn to this woman. I feel I love her as well. My marriage is very cold and as near as damn it celibate. I have no intention of giving this woman up, she keeps me sane. I would not be in this situation if my wife catered for my needs.

I disagree with what Tom said to a degree. I think that some people cheat because of the adrenaline rush she gets.

I disagree completly with Tom! It is an affair if you wouldnt want your spouse to know what you are doing! I personally feel emotional cheating can sometimes be even more hurtful and more of a betrayal to a marriage. "Catering" to each other needs is a two way street!!

Perhaps it is an affair. Without my wifes neglect I would not be in this situation. There is no adrenaline rush for me. I just feel warm and protected in her company. She is a long way away but she still protects me.

hi,i see this as either a wake up call for both of you to re-connect.or the first stage of what could progress into full blown affair.my exs online affair started same way.innocent at first and then quickly to more serious levels.before i knew anything it was too late.i suggest you grab the bull by the horns and adress this issue now.spiralout

Hmmm so you feel by giving your emotional love and caring to someone eles is not negleting your wifes needs? Sorry but trying to justify an affair on here just wont go over very good, If you want to cheat then wait till you are availible. If you feel the need to cheat then get a divorce first. NO ONE deserves the pain of betrayal at any age! Its not all about you and your needs there are more people involved that can get hurt. Maybe your wife has needs that you dont meet as well. If you are so unhappy talk to your wife and either get a divorce or try to find that spark again. Just my 2 cents

Does what he says in these emails hurt you? Should he be saying it to you instead? Sounds like it to me and that is emotional cheating. When you are giving you love and affection and getting your emotional needs met somewhere outside of your married it's cheating. It is a chance as others have said to work on your marriage, if you are both willing but the contact with these OW has to stop. Hugs!!

I totally disagree with Tom. Its emotional cheating and until you have been on the recieving end of it,you don't know the pain it causes. As for not getting The love and effection at home? What exactly are you doing to help your marriage? You want your wife to "cater" to your needs? Last time I looked it was a 50/50 thing. Separate or divorce before you cheat. Man up Tom

Sorry Kolby, I got off track there :) I do feel like it's emotional cheating. Talk to your hubby. When he says he "dreams of her" its over the line. I think anyway. He should know its hurting you. Hugs,Lin

I have not entered this lightly. I have tried everything to "win" affection from my wife. It has taken me 37 years, I have given it a fair chance. The alternative is that we split up. Would she be any happier with that? I doubt it. As for my wifes needs I have tried to satisfy them. We are just different. For instance I am very tactile, she is not, I think she finds it suffocating. I expose my feelings with total honesty, she does not. She has had an affair, a long time ago which I forgave but still harbour resentment about. I value everyones contribution to this discussion and will give them some thought.
Please don't think this is a selfish whim. I dont act on impulse.