Infertility is the inability to naturally conceive a child or the inability to carry a pregnancy to term. There are many reasons why a couple may not be able to conceive, or may no...
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OT-But Important Adoption Question
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I hope not to offend anyone by posting this here in Infertility.
I have been to the Adoption Support Group a few times as my DH and I are beginning to consider it if we decide to move away from IF treatments. I love the IF support group, it has been so helpful and supportive, but I find the Adoption group a little different. And I think it might be because there are conflicting interests there. On one hand there are individuals like you and me going through IF and looking to adoption as a way to have a family. On the other hand there are individuals who are adopted themselves and are looking for a support group to discuss specific issues that arise from that experience. Now in a perfect world these two groups could help one another, but so far most of what I see out there is more geared towards adoptees and those who do post and inquire about adoptions seem to walk on eggshells worrying about saying something unintentionally inappropriate. Has anyone else found this to be the case? Is there a way to create two groups in order to facilitate an open environment for both parties? I'd appreciate any help with this as I want to find the same kind of support I have here on IF. Also, perhaps I could just start a group within IF for adoption, if there is interest. Again, I do not want to cause any conflict and I do not mean any offense. I am just looking for support in this very difficult process of starting a family. Thanks! :) Posted on 06/19/08, 03:06 pm |
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This should absolutely cause no conflict. There are many of us here that have thought about adoption and there are so many questions.
I have heard the same thing about the adoption board from others here. You could contact Doug to ask about creating a new group, or definitely create one within IF. I think many women would welcome a forum like that. 
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I am both adopted and have considered adoption. It might be helpful to have insight of people who have lived through it....I was adopted as a baby so I know no other way but it did put a different spin when we met with the placement agency-same place my parents met 36 years before! Best of luck to you whichever way you go!
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There are a lot of women here who are looking into adoption. A lot of them are trying to adopt because of IF, so you should be okay posting some here. I thik you can also start a group. Maybe something like "IF & Adoption" or "Adoption due to IF" or something along those lines. I think it would be good for women in the IF group because for some of us that is the road we may need to take if the IF treatments do not work for us.
Good luck with how ever you handle it. And good luck with adoption. I can only speak for myself when I say I am not offended in any way.
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Thank you for all of your input.
I definitely would like some insight from people who have lived through it. If it's the path we choose, I want to be educated and prepared as best as possible. I guess when I skimmed some of the postings on the Adoption group I was overwhelmed by how hurtful some of the comments were (on both sides) and that's a big turn off in my mind. So I was looking for something more caring. My google search didn't turn up much either at least not in the same format as DS, which I love. Thanks again.
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I joined that group as well when we were looking into adoption and it scared me a lot because there seems to be so much anger there from the adoptees. All the posts from IF people inquiring about adoption have been attacked a bit, and then it gets a little ugly back and forth. I have always been intimidated to post anything- not wanting to start anything. I've thought it would be good to have different groups as well, but I don't know if people would be offended. I know there is a pregnancy after loss/infertiltiy separate from normal pregnancy- might be helpful.
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Yes, I think two separate ones might help. I clicked on it b/c if IVF doesn't work, we are looking at adoption down the road, and it seemed like a mixed bag, but mostly with people searching for biological ties or looking for support as adutls who were adopted, so I didn't go back on there. One for those seeking to adopt would be helpful.
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P.S. Like you said, it's not that I don't like hearing of people's adoption stories since it's a great thing, but that is a different reason than we would be looking for a support group!
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I have adoption in the back of my mind also, especailly since the failure of our last procedure. I would love to have a warm, welcoming support group to go to. This is a great idea!
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I agree with you about the adoption support group on DS. I don't really think is geared towards people that want to adopt. My husband and I are talking about while trying to conceive and we're not very knowledgable. It's a good idea to start a support group within the IF group. Let me know if you need help.
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