Infertility Support Group

I tryed IUI 2 times. I have my eggs and donar sperm. My husband is fine with that. I like to do IUI one more time and adopting is back of my mind but it is so $$$.

I agree it is hypocritical for him to say he would not be OK w/ donor sperm but a donor egg is fine...MEN:(
Here's a thought. Did you know u can adopt an embryo? The embryo is from another couple who had left over fertilized embryos and donated them for women like you to use. It would be just like adopting a baby but you get to give birth to your child.
I think it would be emotionally hard on me too if my baby was biologically my husbands and not biologically mine. I totally understand your feelings.
Good luck & look into embryo adoption. I've heard women here on DS talk about it.

We are in the process of using donor eggs. At first I was against the idea. For some reason I just felt it was simply weird to put someone else's egg(s) in my body but I was ok with the idea of using donor sperm if needed. It took me about a year to be 100% ok with it all (plus we tried all other options). I just wanted a baby, I didn't care if we adopted or used a donor. I was actually leaning more towards adoption but my husband on the other hand wanted me to experience being pregnant. Plus the baby would be 1/2 biological. It's alot of $ but the clinic we go to offers a full refund IVF plan...so we will always have $ for adoption if not successful.
My clinic had a wide range of donors to choose from. There's a good chance you could always find a donor with your characteristics. If you want anymore info or advice on the egg donor process let me know.

My husband and I are in the opposite situation. He is the one with the genetic problem. We had the choice of IVF or donor sperm. I gave him choice. I'm comfortable either way and I didn't want him to feel like it was his fault. Next we will discuss adoption. No matter what it will be your baby.

My husband thinks exactly the same way as yours...and because I love him I went to a psychologist (he went too) and we worked it out. I would have liked the adoption way, but he is not there yet. I'm right now on my 3rd cycle of donor eggs and he finally told his parents that if that doesn't work out we will adopt...

You can always pray about it! It helped in my case...

I don't envy your situation even a little bit. The only thing I would add to the other (good) advice you've gotten is this:

Have you considered IVF? They can test one cell from an embryo to determine whether it carries the mutation, and only put back healthy ones. It's more expensive, but... it would also probably give you the best chance for a healthy baby that is completely yours and your husband's.

I had a conversation today with my husband about it. We both agreed if I do not get pregnant through IVF (and we will try two cycles) that our options are to adopt or have no children. Neither one of us would want to use someone else's sperm or eggs.

My Dh and I talked about this and decided that we would rather adopt than have the baby come from one and not the other.

It is completely a personal decision but my husband and I are using donor eggs. Certainly not how we thought we would try to get pregnant but IUI's and IVF's also were not in our original plan when we started this journey 3 yrs ago. I don't see it as not my child since it isn't my egg, you will carry the child, help shape the child and guide the child through the world this is what makes a parent not if you borrowed some DNA. I also believe that innately there is connection with having a child in you for 9 months and perhaps some of you is passed on. Good luck to you with whatever decision you come to. I'm also going through the donor process so if you have questions please feel free to send my a message.

This is a tough one that you both kind of need to be on the same page. In our case, if this round of IVF doesn't work, we're probably going to try foster parenting. When you foster (in Mich.) you can choose the age, sex, race, etc.. of the child/infant you'd like. The courts are quicker to terminate rights of unfit parents (they usually have about a year to get it together), then leaving the child up for adoption. The foster parent gets preferece if there are no other family members who step in. In our area there is always a shortage of foster parents. You have the bonus of doing good for a child/infant who desperately needs a safe, loving home. I would encourage this as a possible option.