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Ok so nearly 3 1/2 years clean people are going to tell me to ull myself together but here goes, for all you that know …
Heroin or diacetylmorphine (INN) is a semi-synthetic opioid. It is the 3,6-diacetyl derivative of morphine (hence diacetylmorphine) and is synthesised from it b...

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Being Lockdown Sober
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My husband bans me from going anywhere, even on foot, without him for fear that I'll relapse. We have been together on & off again through quite a few relapses so even though his methode is not 100% effective, he has me living like a prisoner. For example, I am not allowed to drive anywhere by myself under any circumstance. I have 2 small boys too, (one is just over a month old) and I can't even walk them to the park w/o him with us. I understand his insecurities, but this really is no life for me. I feel like he is taking ther credit for my sobreity, ya know? Like -- "Jessica's only clean because I keep such close tabs on her!" ---- not because I had the strength to do it myself. I DO NOT want to use anymore, I feel like I have finally hit my bottom, why or should I continue letting him do this? - or - is it too soon yet? I have places where I can move to, however he says that there's no way I am going to leave here (him)being an ex-user and expect to take the kids with me.... I love my kids and that's why I feel stuck here. Knowing him he would fight me (& always being sqeaky clean) he would most likely win. What a mess I made for myself! I cannot stand not being able to go anywhere I want.... I feel like a prisoner (Oh yeah, did I mention that he's a Chicago cop, too), which makes it even more fitting to the situation. Help! How long should I let him keep me on lockdown for? I know he just loves knowing I am here at all time, and because I'm the "addict" he feels like he has a good right to keep me under his supervision at all times. I know this is just his sick way of controlling this relationship. I really hope someone, somewhere has some good advice....otherwise I see myself on lockdown until my kids go to college! Help.
Posted on 05/14/08, 01:05 am |
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Your story sounds really bad coming from the 'other side' because im a bit like that with my partner when he is clean i am determined to keep him that way because i feel like he cant be strong on his own so i have to be strong for him. I was forever planing his days for him and always going every where with him but it still didnt work. Try talking to your partner and explain that you need some space to be able to see if you can do it by your self and if you do relaps then you will go back to his rules! good luck he must love you to have stood by you through the hard times so just give him some time to be able to trust you again because its hard to get that trust back.
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How are you going to give somebody else that much power over you? Take that power back. That's not love, it's manipulation. And my experience shows that nobody or nothing can stop an addict if they want to use. Even jail. Enough is enough. Take your power back. As long as your clean, you can do whatever you want. And judges are always more inclined to leave kids with their mothers. You'd be a much better care provider while clean than him because he'd always be working. You could provide better since you'd be able to provide nuturing. You have to get in the steps. Being clean is about facing these kind of problems even though they're uncomfortable.
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bill ur kind of right, but you have to take into consideration that he is a COP. most judges would deff. give him custody over her...the best advice would be, like everyone else would say too, is stay clean, get help if you need it, and slowly show him he can trust you.
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