Hepatitis C Support Group

Wished On Falling Star
Young in years,
Old in soul
A child fears,
This place would take its toll

Not even sure of my name,
My life was made a game
On display for all to see
Not even one, seen that it was me

Ashamed of whom I am
Never sure of if I can
Never sure of what to do or who I am to be
All I need, like all the rest, is finally to be free

Need escape, some kind of plan
Didn’t know of how I could
Had to get away from this clan
Burning in Hell, like a piece of wood

So Depressed with hope still left

I made a wish on falling star,
I wished with all my might
I hope and prayed to God that night
I pleaded for a new life

Falling star so bright and clear
Take either me or the fear

Hoped with all my strength
Wished with all my might
That God would take me that very night

T.L.H.


You know I’ve run out of words to write
A twist of fate seems to have shaded my life
A long time ago and far away
My high school sweetie and I did play

Took me away as he sang his songs
Always to a safe place, never takes long
Took me there again this week
Inside my heart is what he seeked

Something was missing all of these years
Left with memories which made these tears
Tears of sorrow, heartache and pain
Made me stronger was never in vain

Toughened me up for all I would do
Just to bring me closer to you
The rain is falling after the snow
Melted away now, why did it go?

The rain will pour a monsoon is at hand
Just to remind me of where I have been
Clearing the air even inside of my head
I really can’t wait to go back to bed

Ya, ya, ya, ya … my body’s in pain
Need some relief before I go insane

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Your Soul Shines

You are beautiful
Your soul shines
Your soul stands strong and tall
One like you is hard to find
You give off rays of light
Even though your life’s a fight
You are beautiful
Your soul shines.

/////////////

You melt my soul, with care in heart
Makes me crave, to want this start
You are far away on this day
But to the future I do see

Illusions shaded with hope, I can’t help
Been so long maybe forever since this, I’ve felt
Allure of you, draws me near
Want within, brings me close to tears

Not sure if what I feel, comes back from you
But near you I’ll stay, until you tell me to shew
I can feel something from within your heart
And to be real honest, I think we got our start

//////////

Witch

Some think I’m a witch and I shouldn’t survive
I wish they were dead and I wasn’t alive
I could rip off their face and hang them to bleed
Only good thing of their life, was their seed

Evil I was or evil I am, never to tell, I wont or I cant
I want it done now!
Yet, unknowing of words I should rant
I haven’t a clue…
What should I do, what should I say?
I just know that the clearness will be known someday

Not that it matters what I want or what I wish
But I wish that the hellions would die like a bitch
Die with a misery so deep inside
A pain that won’t ease…
No matter how hard they try

I wish to the heavens and ill wish to the wind
And I know this is nothing, less of a sin
But just let my life…
Be left alone
Cuz I wish for revenge…
So deep within,
It makes my soul groan.

Tami aka Touchnheaven

Whole world is spinning and feeling still
Friends at the wayside and I cant wait until
Just to feel some happiness which is very rare these days
But I’ll smoke a “this” and toke a “that”, the pain is gone at this phase

I wanna rant and I wanna rave about all that I’ve been through
Be it day or night was it love or a fight, write it out is what I do
I could go “sane” but it would drive me to nutville if I did
My insanity to others is how I hold myself down inside my own head

Did, dead… no rhythm or rhyme
Stupid eh, how I waste my time?

Tami aka Touchnheaven

Truth


I am sitting here yet again
Thinking it over, where have I been?
What the hell is going on?
I haven’t heard from you, its been to long

I know you went to buy some time
To talk to her! Yeah! That’s just fine!
I’m not stupid, dumb or dead
Treat me like that! I’ll knock off your head!

I’m smart enough to know your game
After your last play, things are not the same
So be mature and speak the truth
Be a friend before I dig up TRUTH

You know I can
Lol! I already did
What you don’t think I know
Isn’t really hid

Tami aka Touchnheaven


This life of mine

To much in my head and its going on
Won’t be long now till it’s all gone
Heart is heavy and now full of doubts
There is no use and no need to pout

Nothing ever goes my way
No love has ever been meant to stay
I hate again deep inside my heart
And I’ll never again let love start

Just like Hep C you can sneak up on me
I’ll beat you down just look and see
I am cold as ice I am hard as stone
I’ll live a life I’ll die alone

I don’t care what’s going on
This life of mine is hard and long

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Slippen

I could feel this coming; I’ve been slippen for a while
Slippen on an emotion that will never set me free
I don’t know why I bother, or why I would try again
Love, it gets me slippen inside my heart, its how it began

Warm fuzzy feelings at the cost of just my soul
Never again will I let love take its toll
Suppose I am foolish for believing love is real
I really cannot help all the love that I feel

Oceans waves slippen, over my eyes
I am all dressed up, should I smile and hide?
Is this love that I feel, or just an empty spot?
Guess just the lucky ones can have a shot

I shouldn’t complain because I know I am loved
Yet it’s by people who I cant exactly hug
I feel so tired, of life being so hard
Wish it were sunny so I could lay in the yard

Slippen my hands across my hearts thoughts
Words sure aren’t worth nothing but it’s all I got
Writing just to Sooth myself, but this is all I can do
I am sorry my posting is slow right now but I will get to you

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Pain

I have nobody and no one has me
I am alone in this world and I clearly see
The pain that we suffer I feel in my bones
I cry here in silence at home and alone

Alone in the day time, alone all my life
Sick of the pain here sick of the strife
Had enough of this life now
But I’ll get through it somehow

I am begging for shelter
I am begging for peace
It is nothing but hell here
As I look at this beast

This beast is wicked and causes nothing but tears
And as I stand here alone it sees nothing but fear
Fear of the future, fear of the past
Just need some peace now…finally… at last

Peace wont be soon though I know that’s a fact
The devil made a deal and I’ve been sealed as a pact
So I’ll ride with the wind and I’ll sway like the waves
And death be to me… somehow, someday

Tami aka Touchnheaven

Love isn’t for me

I would have loved you until the end of time
You led me to believe we would be just fine
A fantasy of hopes and dreams
Nightmares and terrors full of screams

You took my heart with soul and all
I should have seen it coming I was taking a fall
Figures… for me… this much is true
Love isn’t for me and being alone… is what I should do
///////////////

Home is where the heart is

I need a home someplace warm or someplace that feels as such
Been moved around and pushed down, a little way to much
They say that “Home Is Where The Heart Is” and for that I have no cure
Until this soul leaves its shell, this endless universe will be my lure

I know it’s out there somewhere and I’ve only just begun
To find my place, my voice, my world and songs that I have sung
Home is what I long for with brokenness is my heart
Love is where the power is, that can bring about its start

This is just a little piece of me, a part or maybe two
I can’t help but share, what’s inside of me… with you
Weather it be right or wrong, I guess I’ll never know
I don’t know what else to say so its time for me to go.

Tami aka Touchnheaven

A poem about puppy

My girl is only 8 years old…
And asked, some time ago…
For me to write a story…

I almost blushed,
But I asked…
“About what”?
She then went on to explain

She would read it out,
For her class…
She really would be,
Quite proud…
To read a story written…
By Her Mom…


A story about a special place,
Somewhere deep within her thought
With one warning,
And a “mom, please don’t”…
Scare her friends or make them sad
“Some will just never understand…
About this beast you call a dragon …
And you slay with so much blood…

I started on this piece,
She gave the who, what, when and how
Quite cute…
And I am sure,
Of how,
It should … and it will
Somehow, just work out.

The girl inside this wonderland,
Is living on the beach…
The world and all its mysteries,
Always there to teach

Rhyme or reason,
Make no sense,
In this story that is fable
An 8-year-old girl, is living large,

Thinking well of days gone past
And hoping for less pain
Threw all her hopes…
Into my pen and paper….

It was to hard to capture then
But she has brought it up again

I hope somehow to make amends…
For a project that was tossed…

Sitting as I think…
About her facts…
Inside this child’s mind

I know she lacks,
At 8 years old
Stability of her heart
Because of the love she misses
She has filled in all the parts

Of happy homes and “mom and dad “
With loads of room to play
Of freedom found,
It is what she has done…
Inside her happy place

Inside her heart, inside her mind…
The only thing missing,
Was more….
The safest heart,
Where she can share hers…
Was with a puppy,
Found upon the shore…

Tami aka Touchnheaven

Have you any clue,
how much I love you?
I wonder if you can realize
the love I see in your eyes
Have you ever wondered how this all will be?
Headed for the future and it is there that we will see.
All that we abound to and all that we surround...
Together with you always, it is my heart that you have found...



Inspired by a love that was planted long ago
Our true love we are finally able to show
I loved you so much back when we were young
But now that we are older this is so much fun

I can’t explain how you have reached into my soul
Us being together, forever seems to be our new goal
I feel so deep within me that together we will be
Growing stronger, loving sweetly, together forever… you’ll see

I haven’t written anything in more then two weeks
Focusing on my heart is the path that I must seek
I am sure that I know you and I truly love who you are
Far away in distance but together always under stars

We will touch again; I know you know its true
Someone always on my mind and that someone is you
You have forever touched me in a way know one else ever could
Deep within the core of me and left me feeling good

I know you know I love you… you saw it in my eyes
Feel it with me now as we send it through the skies



I summons all the happiness and joys your heart can hold....
I pull to you a lover, someone that you will hold...
All through your life and into death I want to hold your hand ...
So unto you I cast a spell that makes you be my man.



Gerry
I love you now
I loved you then
I will love you forever
Until the end

The end of time
the end of space
Loven you always
It is your heart I trace

So love me back
You are all I want
I kind of need you
To bring me back

So just remember
When your heart is low
I will always love you
I will never go
Tami

Home is here is all I know
There is no way to possibly show
you or them or me the way
Warmth of heart is here to stay

Tami aka Touchnheaven


I can speak in riddle
And I can speak in rhyme
And it’s only me who truly understands

What it is that I’m saying?
Whatever it means to you
Whatever it means to them
Is it what it means to me?

I know you understand but its because you know my life ...

Strangers to me… who read
Think they know
But it’s just their interpretation
Of emotion that the words pull out of them

My lyric it’s my sidekick
It’s nothing more then spirit
It shows that I’m alive
/////////////

Brain cell recovery program

Ok, so it’s been a while since I took my last pills
With hepatitis c and all of its drugs, I have had my fill
My mind was messed before I began…
Thinking was confusion, I almost ran

There was a time during treatment I actually thought
That Pegasys with ribavirin was the wonder shot
I could actually think clearly, when I wasn’t in pain
And hoped to hell on shot days I wouldn’t hit a vein

Augh… the bruising I encountered, mood swings with a bang
All the rage I dealt with, should have wrote a song and sang
But nahhhh…. I sat here… and some days I tried to pretend
That the pain wasn’t painful as I waited for the end

I seemed to loose my mind, slowly everyday
Words of encouragement I heard people say
Helped me through my thoughtless thoughts
Or maybe I thought to much…

Still in pain, am I better of or not? I could scream and shout!!!
With or without the fancy drugs that fried my brain cells out
As of now, I know I signed up… somewhere along the way
For a recovery program, that can somehow make, the brain cells stay

Are there any others out there… who knows the way, to where I need to be?
Cuz my mind is faded, completely unraveled and I still don’t feel like me
My efforts right now seem to be focused on how to somehow slowly regain
Not just my health but also my brain

Tami aka Touchnheaven


I want to quit


I want to quit, hoping for a better day
I want to quit trying to make something of my life
I will never be, because it is not part of my birthright
There is something wrong with me; it is what has been said

I want to quit, because I know I should
I feel way to much… and everything I touch, I destroy
“Reality bites”, long before hep c, happened in me
I want to quit being seen, run and hide and quit being me

I want to quit living my life, cuz most days are… full of strife
Day after day, one thing after another, I don’t want to be stronger
I want to quit, cuz all this complaining is making me feel lame
I need to sit back and know that the world is, just as it is… cuz it is

I want to quit, cuz it just doesn’t seem worth the fight
One struggle after another and I know… its just life
I want to quit but my body just wont stop breathing
Wish Tami would disappear but it doesn’t look like she’s leaving

Augh! I want to quit! I wish I could quit!
All I can do anymore is quietly stare and sit
Ya, I guess I’m depressed, not sure if it matters
I want to quit, cuz my life is shaken and tattered

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Buck up buddy

Try ok ... you don’t need to make it all fancy
you don’t need to make it all rhyme
you don’t need to share it with anyone
unless you feel its the right time

Give it what you got
you have more then just one shot
and I am sure, as I know you are aware
that its not at you that people stare

Its just a word or two on a big screen
some people choose to look and have seen
that you and I, like all the rest
are normal and human and that’s the best

So buck up buddy, you know me well
I will wait for a reply, I'll wait for you to tell
just what is it you are going through
and is there anything, anyone can do?

Time after time I try to get it out
and time after time all I do is shout
shout to the east and shout to the west
I am letting it out and that’s all that counts


/////////////

Craziness

Like a poet who writes lyrics
My writing is my sidekick
I need to think a thing or two
Think it thoroughly, all the way through

This is how I think so who the hell am I?
To be nothing but thankful until the day I die
No promises of who I am or who I would like to be
The gifts of life, love and friends is what I’ll choose to see

Water and fire are extraordinary, beautiful, powerful forces
Are able to put each other out if left to run their courses
Can be and are, dangerously devastating to each other
Yet the dance they ensue lets you think, that they are lovers

Help!

That’s all I can scream, it’s raging through my veins
Every breath I take, I guess I should just take the blame
I hate this life and all I’ve done I cant stand me any longer
This life of pain and brokenness is supposed me make me stronger?

I laugh at this theory as I feel my soul ache deep inside of my despair
I laugh at myself when I look in the mirror at the lack of what I have for hair
I laugh and laugh and laugh some more just to cover up my pain
You’ll think of me and laugh yourself, as you wonder if I am insane

Tami aka Touchnheaven


cush


I lay here as I rest, upon this so-called make shift bed
My mind is drifting aimlessly; it’s just inside my head
I am grosse and vile is how I feel, wishing I were dead
With a bacteria that no matter how hard I try
To clean it off and make it dead, it just wants me to die

It hurts like hell and I am finally ashamed of what I am
Of all the things I have said and done its time to take a stand
I stand against this stupid BUG who tries to eat me up
With antibiotic’s, rubbing alcohol, rest and loads of tears
A toke of this, a puff of that, it helps and it eases the fears

I want to swear!
Mother %*@!@$
Holy $#!!
This really can’t be true!
I am freaking out
Yet I am glad it’s me
And I am glad it is not you

I lay here on this so-called bed, which is place upon the floor
Just one look at me and you can see I am nothing more then sore

I brought it on, oh… and I did it well
Cant wait to be done in my hell
Soon enough of this I am sure
But still hope that they find a cure

I gave of this, I gave of that, and there isn’t much I didn’t give
I gave it all cuz deep inside… I just really… kinda… wanna live
I know I am sick and I look like shit and I would love to hang around
Heres the link one more time, just so I can be found
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hepz...

my mind is racing as I dream of all the undone things
I could have done or should have done, whisperings do sing
Maybe I can just be comfortable and have fun
Who knows? Who cares? This is where I’ve been

Having a celebration feast tonight
With myself I will not fight
Yet against this evil, I will win
As it weaves its web that evil spins

Lost inside the wickedness of all my selfish me
I let thee… little MISS BAYLA… be free
Don’t risk yourself for someone who is icky
Don’t risk yourself for me

I am dirty! … No I am not! … I am arguing again
I am sick, yes, that is a fact
My body cant take what hep c’s treatment has done?
And now a body full of ~staph~ is hep c’s newest fun

It’s working its way from my hair down my face
Scars will be the obvious; as it leaves it trails of lace
OH HELL!
Lets look at the beauty of that…
All lace is different and that matter is fact

GRRRRR! I am screaming as I cry
I hold all the tears in ~ or at least, I try
I need to regain my focus and reorganize
Will I fall apart because of what I see with my eyes?

The pain, lol we wont get into that
I went to the local BUD dealer and I wont give it back!
This greenery… and I am not one to push
But I really like the one that has been labeled Cush

Cush for my bones, cush for my skin
Cush is the result of all of my sins
Gov’ officials, given me that stare
You can see in their fears that they actually care

Neighbors all around and they already seem to know
I wonder if they’re waiting for MISS TAMI to go
I am upset and if I don’t stop soon
I’ll have a poem as long as a ladder that can reach to the moon

Tami aka Touchnheaven

Ta-Ta Farewell

Hey Kelly, good to meet you
I am Tami,
Supposing you haven’t figured that out just yet…
I want to acknowledge first, how we came here

With hep, and so for this moment in time
I reach to you in spirit
To tell you once again…
That you are not alone

I can be a little wacky… yes this is true
But this poem isn’t about me… it’s all about you
I don’t know you, so I don’t know how to approach
But at this point I am wishing to at least reach for a roach…

This poem was requested and somehow I’ll aspire
Before your days of flaunting Ta-Ta’s comes to expire
Take us back to days of wait and wonder
Time wasted basically on dreams and slumber

Through our circumstance we can reach to help
Or we can lay to die maybe as we scream and shout
I think you take this well and can see the light
No need for Ta-Ta’s to be in the way at night

No need for clothes that you would rather not wear
Check out these smaller sizes, you yourself will stare
You can always dress you up I’m sure that’s not an issue
But I wish content-ness and peace of heart and soul to you

I can’t touch this subject as one who knows…
I’m still sitting here waiting for my Ta-Ta’s to grow.
Can only be as you are now
Here for you and the rest somehow

Tami aka Touchnheaven.


“One’s”


When you can close your eyes
And feel “one's” soul
As you read within “one's” thoughts
If you can feel the aches inside “one’s” heart
And when “one's” pain can almost make you cry
When your heart leaps with joy
That makes you hope...

Is it the “one” who you think is beautiful?
Or is it you, where beauty has been found? –

Tami aka Touchnheaven



You actually love me
Like no one ever has before
You love and treat me like a lady
You love and treat me like a whore

Now I know that don’t sound fancy
And here’s hoping to ~you know what I mean~
But I saw for a second the love through your eyes
From a man, who is right now… nowhere to be seen

I know you always loved me
And I know you love me now
And just so you know,
I love you more now, then I did back “then” somehow

I know we both get nervous
And our ~phyc~ is sometimes high
But I know that things will be just fine,
All we have to do is try

Our lives are so damned easy
We are like best friends from a land afar
All we do to make this place US
Is to go somewhere in the car

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Have a clutter of paper down at my feet
A whole world of thought to type, I feel beat
Coffee is here and I'm here all alone
Which yet I know, that this is my home...
Tami




Continuation of ongoing on line hepper poem

It's been six months passed to continue these poems about the Dragon Within,
The time has come again to share our thoughts about the fight we all want to win.
Do you feel the same way as I do six months ago?
Tired, worn down, but still have the strength and with hope you will not let go.
There are friends who are willing to help one another in our Hep C Family
The things we type in chat rooms can be misunderstood very easily
Forget about the differences we have, we are here to get and give support are we not?
Lo

Thanks Lo, for pulling me in to this poem of a lifetime, which lets me give of what I’ve got
Six months eh? That is a long time… I have shared this poem in other places… and although I am not sure…
This Hep C love chain that you have started, will continue on… even past days when Hep C is CURED.
I have now finished TX, been off those nasty drugs for just a few weeks
Feeling better, getting stronger and hoping dragons is all I defeat
Should get off this page now because its been a while and I can ramble, I will sit back and wait.
Tami aka Touchnheaven

















My life as a hepper, started with some shock
Could see the doctor speaking, but barely heard him talk
Felt so alone and scared inside with know body around
Took weeks of search and rescue, before I could be found

Got low enough inside my heart I needed to reach out
Came across all of you… and you listened well… as all I did was pout
Fun days were had and my nights were truly filled
Saw I was not bad or gross and eventually I chilled

Months went by, the doctor’s tests were almost finally through
Signed up to treat this beast within, times weeks of 72
You have stood with me, through my up’s and down’s
Turned so many of my frowns upside down

Gave strength as well as courage, even I speak
So lend a hand or listen well, I promise to repeat
To all the lost and frightened ones, who come here to retreat

Remember well, that I was once the one who also seeked

///////////////////////

Lovers Stare


I needed you to touch me like you owned me
You did just that and now it is you who I see
Taken down to the sheets
A lover like you cannot be beat

Stripped clean of this world
Ravaging the heart of this girl
Kissed so deeply you touched my soul
I finally know what means to be whole

Love me all over with your tongue
Cuz loven you seems like so much fun
Quick kisses and bites to keep me in line
I can be yours and say that you’re mine

Enter me slowly, teasing, every inch of the way
I have been thinking of you, day after day
I cannot lay here without feeling you, deep inside
You’ve been missing so long, why did you hide?

Your hands and heart and soul do touch me
You’ve opened my eyes and I finally see
I have heard of dancing to music that wasn’t there
And being lost inside a lovers stare

You take me there with so much more
And it is you who I adore

Tami aka Touchnheaven



There is an endless stare in our eyes
Openness sent straight from the heart
There is fullness inside my soul
I am amazed at how you are able
So easily it seems,
Take my life in an instant
Make me feel
More then ever
I can feel your presence
The heat of your hands
Still lingers where you have been
Definite desire, longing for more
A touch of heaven is what you are
Temptation without fear is what I feel
A pull in my heart with one touch
A fire has been set and I will let it burn

/////////////

Missing you lately...
but I have always been around…
its I just don’t want to bug you
as your packing to leave town

I know you’ll be back
and you’ll be right on track
I hope all your dreams come true
and your desires all come to you

I hope all your hopes are filled to full
and in your heart you always feel the pull
kudos to Dave for loving your soul
together, the two of you, is your new goal

Love you always
Tami


Mental Confusion
I am sure that I don't know me, and I want to run away
At this point there is nothing that could make me want to stay
I've run around and helped myself, to life's ambitious games
I hate myself today and maybe tomorrow, I will feel the same
I can’t help how I feel inside or how I see myself
Want to run and hide, let it all go and just melt
Need to clear out cobwebs that have become obvious to me
And hope I don't fall apart, for the whole world to see
Mental confusion maybe just a phase of the day
If I talk to you or you see my eyes,
You may no longer want to stay
A clearer view of me could be seen from way up in the sky
I am an illusion 90% of the time
Because of myself, I am still trying to find
I don't know who I am or who I am meant to be
Press me down, don't let me breath and I will surely leave
I am still a runaway, deep down in my heart
I am still trying desperately to find somewhere to start
Don't know how or ever, if it will be
Can’t wait for Heaven. I really want to be free
Facing another day without hope in my heart
I again can’t help it, but want a new start
Why did I do this again, I can’t help but wonder
I should just let my heart die deep in its slumber
I am making no sense I am totally confused
I ve been thinking a lot and its me I abuse
More then anything I want to be free
To stretch away from this shell called me
Away from this hell I have created around
Away from it all so that I can be found

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Lullaby’s

Laying here waiting for sleep or more words
Soul drifting far away I almost hear birds
I need a place where I can run away
Safety, security and a fun place to play

I think it is a beach where I want to run
Laid out to relax in the warmth of the sun
Ocean waves are crashing, along the coast of rocks
Away from the harsh world, my heart there has been locked

Breeze is whispering sweet lullaby’s
Relaxing my soul as I close my eyes
Drifting deeper into my fantasy
Maybe my dreams will come to me

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Lovers

One can only love as much,
As the one has been loved.

Love cannot be forced,
Only offered.
Love is then a choice,
To be accepted or rejected.

Accepted love builds love on and on.
Rejected love on the other hand,
Crushes the lover’s ability to love.

To love completely, without fear.
Fear of rejection drains the freedom to love,
From the heart and soul.
Making the lover needing to be the loved.

Now the needing to be loved,
To love…
Depends on the others love,
Needing the other to love like a lover.

Now if neither gets the lovers love,
Where does the love they need come from?

How does love take two loveless ones?
How does loveless, finally become lovers?

Tami

I am laying here without you as my soul starts to fly
Then your spirit comes to me and all I do is sigh
Never have I ever, been so comfortably content
And when my kiss first meets you, my heart will surely vent
I am a little anxious, to meet you soon, some day
But with you in your arms is where I want to lay
So give some time and hold on tight
Is what I tell myself tonight
One day I will look into your eyes and hold onto your heart
Our bodies will become a lover’s amusement park
I look forward and I think that you do too
To all the yummy things with each other we will do
I can feel your arms around me; I can hear your voice so clear
Sometimes whispers of a memory can bring your spirit near
So now that I’ve exposed my wants and maybe hearts desire
I can’t wait to touch the soul who has lit my hearts desire
Passions flames are burning strong
And I love the heart behind your song

///////////////////

Love What You Do

Close your eyes and drift away
Let my touch wash your day away
I will come with you
Because I love what you do

Slowly we fall into a relaxed state
Excitement does follow cuz were on a date
We can see the horizon on the clear sky
And I can see an eternity in your eyes

Rested on the beach over looking the ocean
Spent time in the sun were both covered in lotion
I take your hand and pull you close to me
Just wanting you close, that’s how I like it to be

You gladly follow the lead of my hand
You somehow take over; you’re that kind of man
The wind is gently whipping my hair
Your hands on my face as you intently stare

Tami aka Touchnheaven

Riba Rage

I’m tired, exhausted, stressed and pissed off
Riba rage coaster has made me feel lost
I laugh when I feel all the pain it inflicts
And clearing this virus is hard to predict

I hate that the rage gets into my soul
Yet remembering things is my new goal
Simple things in my life to hard to do alone
Hide in a corner I need to stay home

I despise all the doctors for showing me facts
Glad that I know but I want to give it back
Couldn’t suffer in silence so I shared my news
Crooked looks of fear in their eyes told the truth

I am angry and hurt, as life will unfold
People have faded while secrets are told
Alone on the outside more then you no
This is why… off to cyber world… I go

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Reaching Delirium

Confusion is thick here, so why do I bother?
Lay down and sleep my mind could go farther
Reaching delirium without help of a drug
Oh wait; I am on Pegasys, that sneaky old thug
I laugh at the dumbness of how my thoughts spin
But Hell will freeze over before these dragons win
I’ll rest here awhile reminiscing of days
This beast had his way; and did nothing but play
I am sick at the thought of how much damage was done
At the way Hep C Dragon had thought he had won
Not to much pride here, I’ll say I’ve done well
Celebration to kick off, once I’ve sent him to hell

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Purging Out Pains
I’m freaking out silently inside of my head
I cant believe how honest, the things that I have said
I laugh at myself, because I really don’t care
Just glad you can't see me, I'm afraid that you might stare
Laugh at me; play with me it doesn’t matter to me
In my words, through my eyes it’s my heart that you see
Beside me you are, would you stay and walk with me a while?
In my life you are more then a number on a file
I've been numbered, I've been tagged I've been pushed out of sight
But this ride isn’t over; I've just started to fight
I may run over circles I've already drawn
Creating illusions of some type of bond
Purging out pains inside of my head
I lay myself down it is now time for bed

Tami aka Touchnheaven



Please Release Me

Pulling my hair out hand fulls at a time
This pain here is lonely and it’s all mine
My soul is bursting right out of my chest to find a new home which suits it the best
Body arched I let out a scream its all in my head or so it may seem
This pain is peaking through gaping holes, I’m sure I had sealed years ago
Hidden and buried with no way to heal, alone here and frightened I do nothing but feel
Its coming to a crunch here, its coming to the end, this hurts me oh so deeply
I hope you never comprehend
I’m alone and out of control now but when we meet again you won’t see it, I'll figure a way how...
I sit in the hands of fate, finally seeing there is no escape
The rage within me deepens, from that there is no release
There is tears welling up inside me and know body sees
Writing this down might help
But I know sometime soon I will shout
Please Release Me!
Set Me Free!
Otherwise let me cry for a while in silence...
Why has life turned happiness into sorrow?
Praying for a better more peaceful tomorrow
The days go on as my life stands still, my heart grows as the cry within deepens
There is despair in here and as it reaches an all time low
I question the seeds I have yet to sow

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Please Dont Quit

I know that I will never, not as long as I shall live
Ever find a home in which to come… or go… or give
I have searched amidst this great huge land
Even been lent a helping hand
I cannot find a place where I belong or where I can share my heart
Let it all fall and hit the ground, tonight is my new start
Standing strong and brave and tall, I stare into the sky
Left behind to stand alone tonight’s the night I fly
Soaring way up over high, I see the earth below
Who I am or where I’m from, only I do know
I can see a brighter day just around the bend
Faster, closer bring to me I know that you could send
Yes I need, as you do too
And as a friend I say to you
I am here, I’m flying high I’m watching over you
Dragons soaring all around, together we can do
Amazing things with our hearts like heal and feed a soul
Let us not, no matter what, let this dragon take its toll
He will try to rob and steal, everything thing we’ve ever had
He will even try to take our life; damn this dragon, he is real bad
Please don’t quit, please never give up, I’m sure we can win this fight
Stick together as friends always do, but only if their true
////////////


Pa-jama Girl

Inspired by desires floating careless around me
Containment surrounds me, my thoughts are not my own
I become trapped, stuck inside myself
This world is not mine; it has been recreated by others desires
I’d love to do anything or be anyone just to see someone smile
I am the pa-jama girl, no time for me
Always doing something and absolutely nothing of any importance
If I became anonymous, Id become a silent secret for know one to see
I might have more room to be more of the person I’m intended to be

//////////////////////////


Ok, ok, you know you got me going
just need to see how it is ya got me flowing
well let me say to you and all the rest
typing this here really isn’t the best

you know I spell things wrong and I usually don’t care
did I tell you I love your picture, you know the one with your hair?
This is fun and I told you I'd be back
no more playing and no more slack

so you wanna know if it matters that you don’t have a dink
well let me tell you a thing or two if you care what I think
I think a woman’s heart is more open then a mans
or maybe its her soul... cant be touched by human hands

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Alone

I sit alone in the bright summer sun
I feel the warmth, but I’m not the only one.
I feel the soul of one I have not met
No, not as of yet
But I’m not the only one...
I feel the fear of all that is unknown
Tasting the joys of what is yet to come
But I’m not the only one…
I feel the hope for a better tomorrow
I feel yesterday’s bitter sorrows
And I know I am not the only one...
Wandering aimlessly throughout my mind
Unsure of the willingness to see what I find
And again... I am sure.... I am not the only one...
Sitting alone in the bright summer sun
Even though I’m not alone....
Because I’m not the only one.

No Greater Gift

No greater gift bestowed to me
my friend I do believe.
You came to me and took my hand
and somehow set me free

The sun is sleeping the moon is bright
We're all geared up, lets go fight.
Together forever we will stand
In and beyond this great land.

Face to face with Dragon Beast
He laughs and thinks he will have his feast
Out with sword and will of might
We never give up till we win this fight

Beast be little.... be still.... be calm
You think your so tough, you ignorantly yawn
We slay and slash this beast to bits
And with a roar! To the ground it hits

Another victory won for us this day
The sun is shinning, we must lay
Rest for us 'till nights first light
Till then again we must fight

Lets ride the nights with pegasys
Our time together is always bliss
Forever together we will ride
With know where left for dragons to hide
T.L.H


Never Doubt

Never doubt that it was God
Who gave you the desire to know him
Never doubt that it was God
Who keeps you strong in love
Never doubt that God keeps working
Even through you deepest dispare
Never doubt the power of love
Because God is the power in love
T.L.H.


My loyalties and point of views have been shaded
Somehow reached inside convinced and persuaded
Whatever it is or was, I truly wish I had no clue
Sitting here I’m isolated and afraid of what I should do

Torn being doing what I want and an almost… unspoken
With the words that I’ve heard they have all left behind a token
I like so many others, don’t really want a part
Of the chaos around me that I truly have no part

I feel like I should stay away and I really have no place
Best for me to sit it out and wait to show my face
I know I’ve been here long enough that I could help another
But it’s hard for me to sit comfortably when there’s pain within my brothers

So what I need to do I already know and I know that I’ll be lonely
All I know is that what use to be isn’t any more
I need to be a part of something that is uplifting, good and true
That’s what I found and want to be around when I met the group of you

I hesitate out side the doors of each and every chat
I visit you all by seeing your names the I quietly take a step back
I wish things were different but clearly they are not
Whatever it is that is going on, in the middle I feel caught

How fair is that in reality, in cyber world or any other place
What is going on makes me back away and close the door to my cage
I need to be like so many others around a happy heart
And I understand that not every day will have that pretty start

But I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again that its not war between our friends
It’s the dragons fault, but to his credit that we found each other and are family from now until the end
//////////////////


My Love
My love return to me
Come forth to show your soul
I lay here open wide
For you love
My soul screams out in ecstasy
Remembering when and what will be
T.L.H.



PLEASE PARTICIPATE IN THIS ONGOING POEM ABOUT LIFE WITH HEP C AND
FIGHTING THE DRAGON WITHIN. (USE AS MANY LINES AS YOU WISH). PLEASE
SIGN YOUR PARTICIPATION

FIGHTING THE DRAGON WITHIN

There is a Dragon that we are fighting within,
It is called Hep C, our goal is to kill this virus and win!
We pray for each other to reach their SVR,
Some of our greatest Warriors have left us to continue on in this war.

Our fallen warriors are now watching us all from the heavens above,
They are with the Angels and with the God of Love.
We will remember these loved ones we made throughout all these years,
Fighting the Dragon within, we use all of our blood, sweat and tears.

Living with Hep C is mostly doable with meds; let's stay close
together and in unity we will stand.....,
LeftyLo

Together we fight and be it the fight of our lives,
Easier it is, when a friend extends a hand.
Lift up our hearts to the newly arrived,
Can never forget, our own tears in our eyes,
Just be yourself in all that you do,
You will help a great many and you don't have to try.
I can't help but realize how alone I was
Until Hep C touched me and I had nowhere to hide
I actually panicked, I freaked right out
Until I met others and would help me stop pout
My life isn't perfect, but I have found a quiet corner
Where others who are like me have walked through the same doors
People are real here, there's no reason to pretend,
And the love you will find here, to your soul it will send
There are angles among us we already know,
If you just look around awhile, it's their faces they show....

Tami aka Touchnheaven

When I found out I had this dragon, on my butt did I land.

I cried and wondered how will I get up, I can never do this alone

I come here to the hepC rooms, every one I met extended a hand.

They helped me in my battle I thought was mine alone to own

For some reason the power that be, let me let me become virus free.
Heppers always there, always caring, with out them I know the dragon
would.
Still be within me, for you be there I will always be...

Witsy

When the Dragon appears the time we wont know, it carries our Loved
ones to places we cant go
We hold them tight through thickness and thin, will it go away?
And When?
So, anxiously we wait for every report to know if he's slain or was
it all in vain?
Hold on tight to your loved ones and share this with them, for you
are their mountain and friends turn to hills.
Never forsake the one that you love or your friend when they say the
Dragon is near,
For you too could fight the Dragon yourself and hoping with these
friends you can possibly win.....
Donna

I shall fight this dragon with courage and resolve.
Knowing not the final outcome with this unexpected beast
Who seemed to rob me of dreams and hopes, yet gave me the gift
to learn compassion for myself, for others; gratitude for those who
taught noble lessons that would polish me like a gem.
I honor those who took the time pointing the way down the path
that might lead to infinity, even the times of which I despair:
I cannot complete this race as it is too steep! I take care knowing
that I may stumble.
Still with eyes uplifted,
wondering that there may be a Presence that runs beside me,
silently wishing me well.

~Wayne B.


We are here to help anyone that has or had been fighting the Dragon
within.
There are so many ways to fight this virus and strive to get it beat
Many have fought this with all their might to a very hard defeat
We are scared in the beginning and need someone to guide us
Support is here at anytime to learn, laugh, care, and fuss
Treatment is so important to try to live your life much longer
It's a tough journey for many but worth it to be stronger
Don't wait my friends, do not be like me, you may be able to get on
with your life.......
LeftyLO

A continuous battle with this dragon
An uncertain life filled with strife
There is no need to be so afraid,
Plenty of hearts here that help guide the way,
We came here afraid, lost and confused …
Loved on by strangers, made me want to stay.
I felt beat down and battered, literally torn apart,
This beast with his tortures was having some fun,
I still understand the fears of what may happen
As I stand here in the face of my opposition
Knowing it's not done.
This war hadn't started until I finally knew,
That I was diagnosed with the Hep C virus…
And yet I really had no clue…
I was uneducated and ignorant
I thought this couldn't happen to me,
Shocked is a complete understatement
For when I finally heard the news
So we now stand here together in this huge and nasty fight
Against an army of riders with their dragons, that will surely bite
Friendships here seem tighter then any I've ever know throughout my
life
Wanted assurance and to be surrounded by those who could give good
news,
Found realness in humans, I wanted to be around
Took months of desperation to finally comprehend,
The new life I'd been given and turn my frown back around
I can see the goodness even with a dragon at my feet,
He wanted to destroy me but I will not be beat
I will find whoever it is I am, I will turn this into good …
I will get just as nasty and kick this dragon's ass
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time,
But… I have found the greatest part of my life in the hearts of
people I am around…….
Tami aka Touchnheaven

I shall fight this dragon with courage and resolve.
Knowing not the final outcome with this unexpected beast
Who seemed to rob me of dreams and hopes, yet gave me the gift
to learn compassion for myself, for others; gratitude for those who
taught noble lessons that would polish me like a gem.
I honor those who took the time pointing the way down the path
that might lead to infinity, even the times of which I despair:
I cannot complete this race as it is too steep! I take care knowing
that I may stumble.
Still with eyes uplifted,
wondering that there may be a Presence that runs beside me,
silently wishing me well.

~Wayne B. (hermesca1)

I STAND HERE WITH A SWORD BY MY SIDE NOT ONE THATS VISIABLE BUT CUT
TO THE GRIND.
HIS WORD IS THICKER THEN ANY TWO EDGED SWORD. ISTAND WITH MY FAMILY
IN UNITY STANDIN ON LOVE AND ALL THAT IS
TRUE. KNOWING THAT BATTLE IS WON. WE ARE NOT THE CONTENDERS BUT
CAUGHT IN THE FIRE MERE VESSELS OF HONORE THAT HAVE LOST SOME SHINE.
WHAT BETTER PLACE TO GIVE GOD HIS GLORY BUT TO CREATE A BRAND NEW
VESSEL FOR HIM TO SHINE THROUGH.
LOVE IS NOT LOVE TILL YOU GIVE IT WAY... SO I LOVE YOU ALL AS WE JOIN
IN THE FIGHT WITH ALL OF OUR FAITH.
Carole (care4life)

I give to you as one hepper to another and ask that you might share
Your thoughts on this and I hope your heart don't tear
I have come a long hard road of trial after trial
And I am sure as hell, your beast within, is somehow just as vile
So give it up, I know you can, I would love to hear your heart
No need to fret I understand, all you need to do is start
Tami aka Touchnheaven

Please continue on with more of your poems...........




Journey

Breathe a thought or two in to this life
Don’t let this world of pain cause you strife
Don’t draw the outline for your heart to fill...
Let your soul guide you or your mind will be still....

Let your soul take you to places unknown...
This way your spirit can show you things not shown....
As long as you soar with wings free of dust....
You will always accomplish the things that you must...

Inspiring me and the all crazy thoughts within
Raging in circles I search for where I should begin
Swimming inside of myself looking for a clue
My heart bleeds and sometimes it’s for you

A moment in time, a brief second in history
Capturing the essence would be really good for me
On a journey to nowhere, sometimes, it seems
Struggling and never getting to where I can be seen

The end of this voyage is way to far away
But I know I will get there somehow, someday

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Jaded, Misused and Persuaded


You came in to my life
Extended hope and love without strife

But all you did was play a game
You really are still the same

Im a fool for believing in you
And there is nothing more for US to do

Cuz you just keep on playing
Never mind what you aint saying

I know it all now and I wont forgive
The things you’ve done and the things you did

You wanna talk shit about my / your child
Well he is thankful, to the courts, full custody I filed

So get off your ego trip inside your head
And find someone else to lay in your bed

Cuz my bed is mine and your no longer welcome
I wish you never came here and cant wait till your gone

So fuk off! Again I say
Don’t call again no matter what the day

You are full of lies and a deceiving heart
You’ve hurt so many... your off the charts

I don’t mean that in a nice way
Don’t misinterpret what I say

You know as well as I do that you are just an ass
///////////////////////////



It’s A Dragons War

Humans, this is a dragons war
The only difference is the names on the doors
All will be welcomed, with out stretched arms to greet
One after another, so many to meet
We are all but a "ONE"
What a shame to be shunned
Standing together in a fiscade of unity
Unless we put down our arms in the face of diversity
We all work "TOGETHER" for the hope of doing good
So lets stop the war like we know that we should

Tami aka Touchnheaven


It doesn’t matter where I am, but I am at my children’s school
Thoughts are running through my mind, like I am some kind of tool
I have been pulled aside and yes it has been more then once
Astonished by the words I heard when they pulled their final punch

I wont share the things that I have had to hear
But posted up on the boards, should maybe be their fear
I am sick already, of the garbage going on
And to pull me in isn’t really fair… or fun

I’m not here to take one side or another
You are all to me, like a sister or a brother
Standing my ground, I kick my dragon to the curb
Friendships have been formed here and of this I am sure

So don’t make me choose or make another suffer
Because all it does, is make my heart turn away and be tougher
I tell the one’s who count, the one’s whose hearts and souls are free
I know you don’t know, and its better that way… trust me

And I suppose to the one’s who I originally intended
This note to you, comes from my heart until the end
Leave my friends alone or you are just as bad
As the dragon that lives within… and buddy … that is sad

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Internal War
An internal war inside of me
wants complete freedom yet to blind to see
Afraid to let myself be me
I willed myself to leave
Couldn’t stop once I let myself go
On a journey to somewhere my soul would know
A pull, I could feel deep within my chest
Helped to set me free, showing me the best
Floating, travelling into space unknown
Surrounded by Gods love and grace
Still at this point not seen his face
So overwhelmed, I was so ungrown
Undecided then on what was and will be
at that moment I could see
the one and only, who might need me
Young was he and very small
Eternally forever I would hear his call
I felt his love and heard his cries
All of a sudden, no more want to die

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Inspired by a love that was planted long ago
Our true love we are finally able to show
I loved you so much back when we were young
But now that we are older this is so much fun

I can’t explain how you have reached into my soul
Us being together, forever seems to be our new goal
I feel so deep within me that together we will be
Growing stronger, loving sweetly, together forever… you’ll see

I haven’t written anything in more then two weeks
Focusing on my heart is the path that I must seek
I am sure that I know you and I truly love who you are
Far away in distance but together always under stars

We will touch again; I know you know its true
Someone always on my mind and that someone is you
You have forever touched me in a way know one else ever could
Deep within the core of me and left me feeling good

I know you know I love you… you saw it in my eyes
Feel it with me now as we send it through the skies

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Inspired By A Friend

Inspired by a friend I barely know
Hardly have we spoken but our souls we've both shown.
A quick touch of acknowledgement, the silent unseen
Things really aren’t, as they may seem.
We all stand eternally wounded, tortured and bruised
To the world we hold our own and dare not say we've been used.
We all feel alone on this journey with self-loathing, hatred and shame
Somehow I muster up the courage and strength and say...
"We are almost the same"
So many secrets locked up in our box
Time to release all this pain through our thoughts.
Let it go and somehow let it show to the world outside our own
Someday and I pray it will be soon
We will all be healthy, strong and whole

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Inside my mind


She sits on the porch out back, staring at the leaves blowing in the wind. The thought of how the souls of all time, take turns rushing through so gently reminding her of a hidden purpose. She can’t help remember all the hearts that have touched hers on this Delphi forum. Patiently and quietly she reminisces of how far she has come and in such a short time. Confused and even disturbed that she actually cleared her virus, unsure at this point if she even wants to anymore.

She realizes that people around her may not understand why she would be sad that she cleared, but it is simply that she just does not believe. Her faith and hope has been gone for so long now that doubt creeps in every chance it gets. How could she… of all people clear so quickly? She thinks there has got to be a catch and sooner or later she will see the big demon face staring at her again.

Sigh… in an actual moment as she types this out and wonders if anyone else has felt the same. Oh well… whatever happens, happens is all she can really believe. Knowing she has been brought to Delphi for some reason other then her own, she will push forward because she knows that some day all of her questions will be answered and the truth of why all these wonderful people she has met have been brought into her life.

Now please she thinks to herself, please don’t get her wrong she also realizes that sometimes good things happen without a price or anything attached. Sometimes life just throws a curve ball and in her case … something good has been waited on for a long time. So as hard as it is for her she will just try to accept that clear, means just that and pray that there is nothing attached.

So in her final words for this moment of thought, she thanks all the great hearts of Delphi for standing with her and sometimes even for her, as she has traveled this road. Her hope is that she always remains with a clear sight of what this disease has taught her. She also hopes that she never stops learning and caring the way she is now able.

I love you all.
Thank you, all of you, everyone.
Hugz and much love always

//////////////////////

I’m A Little Hepper
I’m a little hepper, this much I know is true
when I first learned this truth, I was oh so blue
I have to say I didn’t take it well
My spirit to the ground, very hard it fell
And there I lay depressed as hell,
Six months or more always plus a day
Forced to decide to live or die,
I dragged my butt from bed
Not well my chance of "SVR" we'll have to try something new
6 weeks of treatment down now of a whopping 72
I can see the light surround me
I can feel the arms of love
A family full of heppers
Sent to us all with love

/////////////////////

I'd like to give a thank you for your interest in stopping by
I've never met you; I've no clue who you are
But we are together under the same blanket of stars
Enjoy yourself, be blessed your day
Peace and love to you I pray.


I find it very difficult to write to someone I’m not sure I know
And as I struggle though this I’m sure that it will show
All I have is your user name not a hint of name or face
Maybe soon I'll meet you in this huge and massive space

I'm not sure I'd seen your name before so I had to look you up
I still don’t know who you are; this is going to be tough
Help me please, oh help me please, let me know who you are
Share your soul and shine your light just like a big bright star

And as I let you know once more, that without your encouragement, I wouldn’t have tried
I ran out of steam so many years ago
Still faint whispers would echo as the waves did tide
Without your encouragement I wouldn’t be here


Tami aka Touchnheaven




I’d like to blame the treatment for how I feel today
My mind and nerves and body are feeling slightly frayed
Memory loss, I’ve heard of that, can’t remember exactly when
Sitting still looking around, trying to figure out exactly where I’ve been Confusion is thick here but I will just smile and laugh
I wont make a point of pointing it out and eventually this will pass
I am freezing cold; I am as hot as hell, my body cant make up its mind
Wow!
What a roller coaster of ups and downs, this is how I spend my time
////////////////////////

I’m feeling really angry here I’m feeling rather mad
I want to frigin’ loose it but I’d only end up sad
All I feel is anger, furious and out of control
Swimming inside my head this stupidness takes its toll
I’m uncomfortable, achey and starting to feel beat
I will not cry out I wont let dragons defeat
I am miserably tired and just need some rest
Life just wont let me its some kind of daily test
How far will I be pushed, how far can I go?
It’s never until the end, ‘till I will truly know
Today has just started it is just barely noon
Maybe by the next sunrise I’ll sing a new tune
But for today as far as it has gone
Short tempered and angry now for what seems way to long

Tami


I want so bad to touch, on a level that is deep
To reach another’s soul, would be a feeling that is sweet
Maybe I am a dreamer and someday I’m sure I’ll learn
But forever I’ve been waiting, so I can have a turn

I know what my heart is searching and maybe I will find
If not in this lifetime, I guess that will be fine
I know it’s out there somewhere, because I can feel its peace
So if ever I do meet it, I know that I’ll be free

////////////////////////////

I think I am actually starting to like Hep C
For all the goodness it has shown to me
I’ve never felt so good inside, I’m finally alive
Even though I am hard to see, I don’t hide
I am happy for once; I am content just to be
Hep C, is what it took for me to finally see
What I have been missing all of my life… is people with heart
Scared and lost has led me to a brand new start
So now, I am surrounded by people I admire
Fanning each other’s souls, we reach to aspire
I have hope now, which wipes out years of uncertainty
I feel a new strength within me, no more concerns of my frailty
Don’t get me wrong I am still sick and tired most of the time
But all the right things to be happy for are finally mine

Tami aka Touchnheaven


I summons all the happiness and joys your heart can hold....
I pull to you a lover someone that you will hold......
all through your life and into death I want to hold your hand ...
so unto you I cast a spell that makes you be my man.
/////////////////////////////

I still have a choice

I am tired and worn down by the physical world
Just wanted someone close and near to this girl
Selfish it was and I will pay the price
I feel like fighting I no longer feel nice

I am sick of the games I am sick of the shit
That comes with this… man? Oh boy, I feel sick
Why? Why? Why? Oh why? Why do I care?
Been alone this long, why did I dare?

To love with another, to love unto his soul
To tear me apart seems to be his goal
I will not let him hurt me although he already has
He is as nasty as dragons and I am thinking he’s bad

“Fuk him” I say, with a grrrr in my voice
I don’t need him and I still have a choice
So he can do what he wants, he will anyway
And tomorrow is always a brand new day

I am still tired but now I have thought this thing out
And if he comes here today I won’t shout
I will tell him politely but with a grrrr in my voice
That I don’t need him and I still have a choice

Tami aka Touchnheaven


I stand alone upon this hill
In a world that gives me chills
Alone admits the thunders crash
Till I found you at last

This world where I am, I must live till death
Has brought me to a place that’s best
Along my torn and tattered road
Found you and the price was free to board

I hate this place where I live now
But till the end I’ll live somehow
Be unto others as you have been to me
A safe place to run and hide and be

I have no clue where this new road leads
But on my way I am somehow freed
You hold me up when my heart is low
You keep me breathing, this I know

I need to rest and sort this out
I will not freak out or even shout
I am where I am because this is meant to be
And in the end I will see why God let this happen to me

Tami aka Touchnheaven

I know I haven’t known you but a while and yet I feel I known you for so long.
I may be just a passing glance in the story of a life
But forever it seems that another’s heart has caused me strife....
You are pulling me in with the care of your words, a tone in your voice...
I am not sure if I am letting myself go to far but it’s my heart you are touching and I haven’t a choice....
Call me crazy or maybe insane but I don’t play with hearts like it’s a game...
I have been hurt, as I am sure you have too...
So lets see what can happen, this is all we can do....
/////////////////////////////


Love Is A Slow Suicide

Destiny awaits the child in here
Scared and alone she waits for death
Death of soul or death of mind
Either one brings relief from the pain that she suffers
Can I take her by the hand?
Can I lead her to safety?
No!
There is no safe place is this world
Love turns to hate as a new day dawns
Preparing the way for a new pain
A new heartbreak
A new death
Love is a slow suicide
It eats you up inside


/////////////////////

Long Gone And To Far

It’s late at night and I can barely think
Twisted illusions of what people create
9 out of 10 is a lie and that stinks
Please be yourself and not what you make

I know its fun, its great, its cool
To be what you want instead of who you are
Life is just life, we are no longer in school
You are perfectly unique and we look to you like a star

Please be yourself because eventually, you will see
That the world as we know it, needs who you are
All that I can say, is be all that you can be
Or by the time you search to find you,
You’ll be long gone and to far

Its easy to pretend and live in a fantasy, but…
We all work together; I wish that you could see
That the lies eventually catch you, and it is you who you deceive
I wish you understood these words I try to say…
But if nothing else, I wish you would just believe

Tami aka Touchnheaven


Locked In A Box

I gave God my life
I gave God my heart
I messed up so bad
I need a new start
I walked a few miles through many a trials
Only to find I hadn’t a soul
Now in order to give God my all
I had to give it all up and feel really small
An empty dark room locked in a box was me
God's promise to carry me through the storm we see
He is filling me up with his love
He is restoring completely my soul
Joy and love...
I know I will have some day...
Didn’t come by some small cost
I had to give it all up and walk away
This is the biggest hole in my heart I have felt
But now in the presence of the Lord I melt
I had to give it all up to be
All that God intends me to be
It hurts so much
There is so much pain
And through all of this...
Ill never be quite the same
"Those who sow in sorrow will reap in joy"
So I know Ill be a happy soul one day
In Jesus Name I Pray

////////////////////////

Lights Like A Horizon


The darkest days are when you know the end is near
The edge of truth, a place where there is no fear
I can see the lights like a horizon I cannot quite reach
“Roche” has plans to use me as a tool to teach

On a study and then randomized, to better them or me?
Can’t stand that they would do this, knowing I wont be free
Don’t matter anymore because I already beat this beast
I refuse to let it kill my soul or with my body have its feast

I know that it will do, as it will, no matter what I do or say
But I will fight it to the e
Posted on 05/23/08, 02:05 pm