Healthy Relationships Support Group

Try talking to your friends and see what happens! You might be surprised that they have problems too. If not, they're "fair-weather" friends, in which case, yeah, see a shrink. A lot of good advice here, and some not so good. We're all in our own mood and struggle, so you might catch some of us on a bad day LOL.

I know the feeling... not able to talk to family, and sometimes not friends either...

I find the support groups on this site very helpful... But you can also check out what's avaiable in your area (where you live) too.
They are anonymous, and noone is judging you, and you have the opportunity to learn from other's experiences and how they handle things, and you also get feedback.

That's what I do. All the best to you.

Other than this, yes, I've talked to counsellors before too. It was often in an attempt to vent (when I feel so overwhelmed by things), and try and sort things out, and to get another perspective too.

A nuetral party may be the answer for you. Nothing wrong with seeing a councelor. I don't share my deep guy problems with just anyone myself. I do have a sister I call for that. Sometimes it is just needing to be listened to so you can sort out your thoughts.

I'm the same way. There are alot of things I can't talk to friends or family about. I see a counselor now and I am learning why I can't talk to people. Maybe you would benefit from counseling too.

In ADDITION to the other suggestions (want to make it really clear I don't mean instead of) I would recommend keeping a journal on DS. You don't need to share it with anybody if you don't want to. I find that just getting whatever is bothering me out of my head & on to the page is sometimes all I need to deal with the issue.

Oh, I am often in this situation. I have friends and they are very busy. I used to hesitate, often, on asking advice or talking about a problem. Sometimes, I still do. I now know, on many occasions, They, would have WANTED to help, or just listen. I just thought I could handle everything and was "too independent". We are all human, and female or male, need one another. Do you think any of your friends, could give good advice or be a good listener when you need to vent? You could just try on a small scale, and see how that works out. It's a shame that you think that because you're a guy, it's odd. In reality, guys are people too. I know many who confide in each other.
Talking to a counselor is also another venue, you just have to find one that your comfortable with.

I did exactly that. I got a "couch dr" for free through work because I had no one else to talk to about my exfiances cheating.

It was a very good decision for me.

A good therapist is a good idea. During my divorce I saw a therapist and it helped me a lot and I still see her every three months. Sometimes dumping on friends is not a good idea. You may want to see a professional person who can be objective and understands emotional and mental health issues.

yes, oh lordy yes. in the past when my wife found out or thought i was confiding to someone else, it caused huge scenes and long protracted fights. then i thought a safe way would be to use a counselor. then after a couple of weeks, she began to nag me about what i was telling the counselor. i finally gave up and just started stuffing it inside. needless to say it encouraged me to become more introverted and to put off or distance people until i have no real friends left. this of course delights my spouse but leaves me feeling very empty.

if you can't find at least one friend to confide in, then by all means seek out a counselor, or a pastor, or a mentor, or someone that can act as a outlet for you to unload those feelings.

while this site provides an excellent means of getting questions answered and a place to find some friendship, there is nothing like sitting down in a quiet spot with someone and talking. human contact does wonders for a person.

I know the feeling also. I have good friends, but there are still things I don't necessarily want to share with them. Some things, once said, can't be taken back. Actually what works well for me is having both a counselor and friends.

I have my own little list of benefits of talking with a good counselor:

1) I'm paying her to listen to my issues. I can be completely selfish, I don't need to concern myself with what's going on in her life.

2) She's a professional. She's trained to keep her personal opinion's to herself. I don't have to worry about affecting our relationship because of something I share with her.

3) My counselor can encourage or discourage me to follow paths based on her professional opinion of what is likely to help me, and what will most likely be a waste of energy. Friends want to be helpful, the problem is they have their own view of what is right for them, not me.

4) Some things I've done would shock my friends. Counselors do a better job of looking at underlying causes rather than judging overt actions.

5) When I don't feel I'm really making any progress, I tell her I'm going to stop seeing her for a while. And it's OK. And it's OK if I never see her again, or I call her back up a year or two later.

I keep in mind my counselor is there to help me. Some things I wouldn't share with anyone else because it might sound like bragging or ego talking, but to get the most from her I need for her to know everything going on and I'm dealing with.