No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individua...
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who was in the wrong?
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Hello, I need opinions on my situation. My husband and I had plans to go to the movie at 9:30 tonight. He played in a soccer tournament that started at 2:00pm. I called him at 6:00 to see if his team won and he told me he would home in 1 1/2 hours. I told him I would have dinner ready and asked if we could leave a little early because I wanted to stop at the store first. He said ok. He arrived home at 9:00 and had been drinking. I told him I was upset because he didn't come home when he said nor did he call me. He got mad at me asking me why I was starting with him and what's the problem he came home and that's what matters. I told him we had plans and he didn't keep to them. He told me he doesn't need to call me, I'm not his owner. He said if I didn't start when he came home he could have taking a fast shower and it's my fault we are not going. Then he said "I didn't promise you we were going" " I said maybe, that's an idea and we'll see." He did say that at first but then he said yes and we had even picked the movie we were going to see. He accused me of trying to control his time by I asked him we we could stop at the store first to buy some bra's. I told him that wasn't true,the sale was ending tonight and it was in the same building as the movies. What are your thoughts on this?
Posted on 10/13/07, 10:10 pm |
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He can't tell time and blames you!,,, This happens in all marriages... He was having too much fun with his buddies... my question to you is why did you not go to his game, then he would have felt obligated to go home with you when the game was over. 
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He seems to be doing something my wife does to me on occasion,wording things so as to conceal hidden agenda,or interpeting things after the fact to suit situations. Frustrating.
He should be working with you here. I saw he was bolivian, any cultural problems affecting this? communicating with him when you are both in a good mood best idea i see here. Take Care!
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well, I use to play the waiting game....but realised I had a part in it as well for waiting. I no longer wait even 2 minutes past what ever the time schedualed. I go and keep the plans! I have posted this before i also say the event is shcedualled an hour earlier than the real time and sometimes he makes it. Actions speak louder than words and although I would like to think I am his priority...the fact is sometimes I am not. I have learned to enjoy life in any case and I do not allow this to be a barrier. He usually will meet up with me later. No worries. I cannot expect him to be any less or more of a person. Although we are evolving each of us with our own issues.
Sherose
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I think he has been unfair in blaming you. But maybe it could be guilt that is causing him to blame you because he knows he was in the wrong but has a bit of trouble admiting to it. I dont think you should feel bad for this because from what i can see, it wasnt your fault x
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I like shopping for Lingerie together, it has to fit properly or it will not do. Much better than a football match ! ...
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is that for you her or the both of you?
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He was in the wrong...but was it that bad? Unless this is something that happens repeatedly, I wouldn't have made such a big deal about it.
All you need to do is explain (without arguing) that you were hurt by him dismissing your request. If this is a repeat thing, then you probably should have expected it...right?
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He was wrong in my eyes and it's not about controlling his time. It about having enough respect to call and say hey I'm not gonna make it or I'm late. Men as well as women can be so selfish sometimes. You can talk to your blue in the face he probably will stand firm. Tell him how he wrong the situation and that's all you can do. Then wait for an apology.
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I don't see the harm in a quick call to let you know, only takes a couple of mins
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I think that if he was going to be out with the guys, (and there's nothing wrong with that now and then) that he at least should have called to say so. It's a common courtesy that we all take for granted. I can't count how many times that I used to work over and I'd just think, "Well, I'll just call later." and then never get around to it. It's really not fair to the other person at all though.
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