Gay Parenting Support Group

I am in a similar situation. I have an 11 year old daughter (and have 50/5o custody). My partner and I have been living together fo about three years. I thnk my daughter is aware of the relationship I share with my partner but i have never sat down with her and said "I am gay". We sleep in seperate rooms when she is home but I feel like I am lying to her. I am looking for courage to be more honest with her so I can help her to deal with the issues she will face concerning this. Someone told me recently to be as honest as you can and it willwork out. Good luck.

i've read this post and ones like it over the past few days and as i am expecting, i have been giving it some serious thought, but i would also poitn out that i'm sure it is more difficult in certain situations than others...

i thin kby keeping it from your child you give them a reason to feel ashamed, it almost comes across to the child that you yourself are ashamed of the issue at hand.

i'm sure in your situation having been married to a woman before adds some harder elements to the equation....but i guess i wouldn't hide it, i would explain the intense love that exists between the two of you, i don't know if it is necessary to even discuss your sex life with your children, i would leave the lines of communication open, that if they ever had any questions they could ask you about it and then go from there....

i guess what i'm trying to say is that you;re putting alot of pressure on yourself over something on the grand scheme of things is rather small. your children want to be loved by their father and i'm sure you are grreat at that:) but yoru sexuality will only be an issue to them if you approach it as such.

I was married to a man, separated, had my partner move in and also had 50/50 custody with my ex.

I let them get to know my partner first without any information regarding my sexual orientation. They were 6 and 9. After about three months I told them that I was in love with my partner, and that she was my girlfriend.

The little guy was oblivious and couldn't care less. Our older boy really liked Jane, so it wasn't a problem about us being together, it was not wanting anyone to know.

We assured him that we wouldn't out him to his friends. We would be circumspect around his buddies, and let him be the one to choose to tell them.

Two and a half years later, all his friends now, and none care. He's okay with it. Like any child (of parents gay or straight) he doesn't like us being affectionate in public (he doesn't like his dad being affectionate with his girlfriend in public either). So we respect that.

Give them as much information as they need at the time. We stressed that we were in love, and enjoyed each other's company. We didn't get into any other areas.

You can expect some firm statements from them that they are NOT gay. I laughed and told him I loved him anyway. You can expect a reluctance to have friends over until they share with their friends.

I also let their teachers know. That way they are armed with the knowledge in case any behaviour acts up (I also made sure to tell them we hadn't told any of his friends).

Make sure they understand that you respect their feelings, and answer any questions they have. If they feel safe, they'll feel in control, and then they'll realize it isn't any big thing.

There are many of us out there. My son was sitting around with friends and they were sharing about how wierd their parents were, and he told them he had them all beat. His mother was a lesbian. They just looked at him and said, "yeah, so what?"

If it is particularly troublesome...get some counselling for them. I took my son to some of the Pride Parade events in our area so he could see how many kids had gay parents. It was great.

Good luck!!!