Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as f...
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What made you quit gambling?
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I have not gambled in (coming up on) two years. This is the longest I have not gambled in a row in my adult life (I started gambling binges at age 18 and this escalated into gambling almost daily into my 30's.)
It touches a part of me to read on this forum because of all the addicts I know, I am the only one who has dealt with severe gambling addiction. People I know are disgusted by this form of addiction more so than IV drug use because other people don't REALLY believe it is physically addicting. It is. There is a rush & a crash and it is addictive. I was asking myself what caused me to leave gambling for so long this time finally. I dont have much real support or a group to lean on. How did I finally make it out alive? The answer I came up with is this... After I had been taken to crisis centers several times by friends who I called suicidal after gambling all the money away, and STILL felt I had to gamble (when I managed to get ahold of some more money) even more urgently than before because I *had* to win back some of the losses I had made... and still just played through my wins until I lost it all again... Two things happened. 1) I felt total shame of how everyone I knew despised gambling as a waste of money. People were all around me struggling to make ends meet or save for the future, and I would pour it all away and it was like others started saying, "give it to me if you're just going to gamble it!" and of course I didnt do that. I realized no one had any sympathy for the horrors of my addiction, only spite for me. I wanted to die because I was so ashamed, but I couldnt seem to stop, and I felt very misunderstood. I wasnt gambling to impact others, but friends and family felt like I was slapping them in the face with my "addiction." 2) I realized one day that even if I were to win every jackpot I was gambling to win, every night for months, I could not possibly ever win back all the money I have lost over the years. Not to mention the helplessness and sadness and isolation and not being able to make ends meet without asking for loans or doing without something I needed. I realized that the only hope I would ever have of putting my losses right and of making a comeback would be if I stopped gambling altogether. Money comes my way in life, and makes me feel lucky and blessed and happy when it does, but it does not come my way from gambling. When I crave gambling, I know I am feeling a FALSE OPTION trying to tempt me into losing the wealth & peace of mind I *have* been able to generate back into my life so far. Sorry this was so long (first post), but I was wondering: What moments/realizations turned other people on here around from that horrible cycle of wins and losses and going back for just one last fix? Posted on 08/23/08, 11:08 pm |
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Hi Oregonshell....there is a discussion that I will bump up that may give you some answers to your question.....and welcome to this site...it has been saving my life since my last day gambling, 1-1-08. Dianne 
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Thanks, DianneE, I checked out the answers from the other post. It is so helpful to hear of people who struggled with this addiction and then were able to stop.
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The thing that made me quit gambling, is the sick feeling that I was feeling, after my last time at the casino.
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Oregonshell - I appreciate you taking the time to write. Sometimes I need to hear other peoples experiences to help me stay away from gambling. By the way I love the state of Oregon it's beautiful. I drove down the Pacific coast from WA to CA and I miss being by the ocean.
What made me say enough is enough? Laying on my bed surfing the internet trying to find a painless way to kill myself and then the next minute trying to figure out a way to get more money to gamble. It's my example of insanity at work: trying to get more money to do the very thing that brought me suicidal thoughts. I had gambled away my rent money and I was starting to pack because I was anticipating being evicted. When I went out in the parking lot I wasn't sure if my car was going to be there wondering if it had been repossed. I couldn't remember if I had missed another payment or not. I realized at that moment that if I didn't stop that I would soon be dead. After that I started attending Cocaine Anonymous meetings. I'm not a cocaine addict but because there was a meeting near my work. What I quickly realized is that an addict is an addict and I indentified with almost everything they said. I found the only difference was that my cocaine was a blackjack table. Best wishes with everyone recovery.
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