Fibromyalgia Support Group

I hear you... we have gone through some real dry spells because of it (no pun intended)... I have found that nothing helps during a flare except waiting for a flare to end. But, I do think a glass of wine helps with relaxation so my muscles aren't filled with tension... and a massage if your hubby is willing.... it is very difficult and can be depressing at times... open communication is critical... you have to be able to explain that you adore him and it is not him... even if he says "I know... don't worry about it" he doesn't always know and he does worry about it... well, that's been my experience anyway...

Good topic... thank you.

I understand what you are saying. Things have been difficult in that area here too.

I don't care what anyone thinks, open communication does not replace physical intimacy. Communication is important but how do you get past the pain??

I understand what you are saying. There are times when I am just not able to due to pain. So one the days I am feeling ok, I try to make the most of them. I hope no one will be offended by this, but there are ways to enjoy each other besides intercourse. With the areas that hurt me the most, I have found a few positions that work pretty well for me. I don't know if they will for you but hear goes...
Sitting facing each other with me on his lap and my legs on either side of him. This keeps any weight off of me while helping me feel close to him.
Spooning while lying on the side that has the least amount of pain.
Again, I hope no one thinks this is over sharing, but I think these things are important to talk about. I also believe it can be done in a tactful, respectful way. Hope this helps. Thanks for keeping it real:)

tks everyone....
its sad cause i used to LOVE it alot.....
tks for sharing and if its too explicit just PM me....tks again

sex whats that .....not funny i know .i find this so difficult..my husband puts no presure.he is so understanding.the only position i find even remotely comfortableis with me in control so i can stop if it is hurting me is me on top.thats i wont say anymore i know sensetive subject.....i hope i said it ok.....love you ...hugs ..marie

Well I agree this is somehting that should be discussed cause I'm sure it's on many minds, It's hard for me and my husband to find time between the pain, the hormones and our kids, I feel you Donnaf on the dry spells,I also agree with hobbs you have to make the most of your good days, I can't really say for sure a "posistion" all of us have diff pain in diff areas, but I would suggest using a lubricant, maybe a sensitizing one, that way when you can do the deed it maximizes the pleasure. I was always too embarrassed to get them but, they help get you in the mood even if you really didn't think you could be aroused, some of them you can put on before "the deed" so you have time to warm up, and also ditto about communicatoin doesn't replace sex, it's a very vital part of being in a relationship and being a living breathing human, communication is key when you're not having it so that your'e partener does not think you've lost interest, but sometimes that can only buy so much time before your partner thinks that anyways

and i thought i was the only one with this issue.. glad to know i am not...

It is so difficult. Just to clarify,I never meant that open communication should replace anything... but a dry spell is a dry spell and sometimes we think our men understand that it has nothing to do with them... but they don't always know it... this is very difficult on them and it is a good thing if they can at least feel reassured in our feelings and desires...even if we can't do anything at the moment. But, I am wordy I know. Maybe my husband is different but I know he needs to hear it, especially when I am not responding. And, he is always afraid he is hurting me ... so that makes it hard for him too.

i have found that during the deed, it doesn't really hurt, esp if we take a while getting to that point. afterwards is another story. my main problem is that i get tired so quickly, that after a few minutes i can't really "stay with it" and he has to do everything. I am hoping that since i have started taking sleeping pills and my energy levels have gone way up that this won't be as much of a problem.

I agree with everyone!! It can be a hard thing to deal with, especially trying to keep our guys from taking "No" personally. I agree with Hobbes. The days that are good, I make special for him... He can always tell when I'm in the mood...
I take a nice long hot shower , use baby oil on my skin, use my best perfume and smell fabulous for him! You should see how fast he can jump out of that recliner, LOL!

I'm glad someone brought this up. We should be able to talk openly about this.