Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Support Group

I have a step son with FAS. I married his father when he was four. The symptoms weren't that apparent untill he turned 10. It is a constant struggle in school as well as home. I have him pretty much map out his day....homework etc. on paper. Otherwise he will not do anything that is required of him. Now he is 12 and hitting puberty, his lying and absent mindedness is getting really bad. It is frustrating...I know what you are going through.

All children with FAS have different personalities. Their behaviors are all different. They have no internal stop mechanism....not conscience when it comes to consequence. The only way I survive it is to observe the patterns and stay two steps ahead of him. FAS children and teenagers are extremely prone to derelict behavior.Most can not live successfully on their own and hold jobs. Unfortunately that is the outcome of this terrible abuse that was bestowed upon them in the womb.

We also have a 10 year old with FAS and then a 4 year old who is getting tested soon. but their mother had 7 kids all with fas and my 4 year old is the last one and i can't imagine their b-mom stopping her alcohol abuse for one child. I see a wide range of behaviors from them all. My biggest struggle is with the lying. It's almost easier for me when they lie about something more important or "bigger" but they lie about anything. Everytime they are asked a question they feel the need to lie. do you have homework today?? no mom. and i look and there it is right in their bag. I have evenasked jokingly when they get home from school, "did you have lunch today?" and they will say no. It's really frustrating and sometimes makes me angry. I try my hardest to keep my cool and to do the right thing. sometimes my frustrations come out in yelling at them. raising 5 kids is tough, but raising 4 with FAS is tougher than anyone could ever imagine. Thanks for your comments and advice.

I know, my son lies about EVERYTHING. I mean these aren't calculated lies either. They are obvious, blatent ridiculous lies. I often wonder to myself " you can't posibly think that I am that stupid to believe that...why lie".I often lose my temper because consequences don't work with him. Instead of asking him why he lied I have started just saying that is not true and you have lost t.v , gameboy etc. time tonite. No questions asked....do not let him reply.Let's just say he rarely gets to watch t.v anymore. lol. I do not know what else to do. He is not an agressive child ,quite the opposite actually. I wish I could find a behavior modification specialist in this area.

I really believe all we can do is keep doing what you should, teach right from wrong, explain when they are bad why its bad and keep them in church. When their grown all you can do is say you did your best and everything you could and let it go. They are what they are if there is no cure there's not much else you can do. At least they had a caring loving home while they were children. Also pray for a cure. I'm not saying give up I just saying don't kill your self with hopelessness it does no good. We are good strong people and thank God these kids have people willing to sacrifice time from their lives for them.

Hi there I was born with FAS and i am 26 and it is a stuggle at time to deal with day to day things but there is not alot of surrport out there for it all i can say is talk to ur doc about it and see what he says i have had mantal health probs eatting disorders and whole lot more if u want to drop me a line you can