Sexual dysfunction or sexual malfunction is difficulty during any stage of the sexual act (which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution) that prevents the individual or c...
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apprehensive about sex
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I'm a 17 years old virgin, and i'm soo afraid of having sex, that even though i'm like always thinking about it when i'm near a guy i like, I can hardly bring myself to even just kiss!
I know why it is too. My parents set such high standards, and they favor my brother over my other siblings and myself, so i feel like if I screw up or do something they wouldn't want me to do, then I'm even that much more of a disappointment to them. There is that, and there is also the fact that I've tried masterbating with a foreign object and it hurts... and I don't wanna have a guy in me and then have to yell at him to stop. Also, i'm over wight. i'm not obese, but I'm overweight and I know I can't be considered 'Sexy'. This body image i have of myself makes it impossible for me to be naked in front of a guy. other than all that... I am terrified of "what if i get an STD or I get pregant?" I could never tell my fam, they'd all be ashamed of me and I have so low respect for myself, that something like that would be enough to push me to commit suicide. This guy and I hooked up recently, and we have a lot in common, and he said he wants to hook up again - but he isn't sure if he likes me yet. I wanna make damn sure he likes me enough to wanna date me. I wanna have sex with him - i only hooked up with him once, so it could be the lack of physical contact i have that is driving these emotions, but i really can't stop thinking about doing things with him. Is this normal? How do I fix myself so that I can have sex? Posted on 07/21/08, 02:07 am |
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hey honey. i think i might can give you some advice.
my family also put a lot of high standards on myself and my younger sisters. i felt horrible after i had my first physical encounter with a guy... sometimes i still do. i have it so deeply embedded that what i'm doing is wrong that i just feel like i've done something dirty and wrong. i lost my virginity so somebody who didn't deserve it. i didn't have much physical sexual contact with a guy for close to three and a half years. i tried using sex toys, but they hurt me too much. i would chicken out and stop cause of the pain. i am also overweight and i thought that nobody would want my body. hell, i never wanted it, so why would anybody else? i think if you're having reservations about actually having full on intercourse, then you need to wait. maybe this guy is right for you. maybe he's not. you will never know until you are in the position with him. if he's even a half decent guy, he will be AT LEAST somewhat sensitive to it being your first time and understand that it will be perhas a bit uncomfortable to you. just make sure you use a condom. that will take away a majority of the fear of catching an STD and becoming pregnant. as awkward as it may be, you should ask your partner about his sexual past and such and see if he could potentially have anything. if you can't have that conversation with him, you shouldn't sleep with him. mostly though, just relax and have fun. take responsiblity and know what could come of your actions which it seems you have. i think you should talk to this guy and talk about the insecurities you have. if he's worth dating, he'll talk you through them. i hope that helps some! 
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