Female Sexual Issues Support Group

Hi! Just sent you a neverending message about this stuff-it was too long to just post here. Maybe it will help? Trust me though, you're not alone in this. I've struggled with a non-existent sex drive for, literally, years.

I think that it is good that you think about it and want help, so I would encourage you to think more about it. What do you fantaize about? What would you like to try that you haven't yet? Have you got or tried toys? Have you tried porn or ertoic stories? Let you mind go wild and your body might follow! I would also say try to relax and have fun with it, the more you worry and put pressure on yourself the less likely you are going to get turned on and want it. So relax and have fun exploring!

Nicole I am having the same exact problem! Ah! I just joined this site today because of it.

My bf and I have been together for 3 years and for the first 2 years we had no sexual problems. It was not until I had a L.E.E.P performed on my cervix did I start having performance anxiety issues. I started to hate my vagina before the procedure was even done. Then, during the recovery I had pretty much signed off from my vagina all together because I was so mad at it/me. I am lucky that my bf is being very supportive and not giving up on me, but I am ready to give up all together. I love him and really WANT to show him how much I love him sexually. It has gotten to the point where we are holding off engagement because he does not want to enter a marriage like this. I don't blame him.

Is there a book out there? Something? Anything?

i am sure there are books out there but i dont know any titles. this website: www.the-clitoris.com has lots of factual info about how our body works, and some ideas about the issues we are discussing.

christine, i went through similar feelings when i first had surgery for endometriosis. having things done down there can mess around with your feelings for sure. but you can get over this. keep talking about it here, there are lots of excellent people who will come in and add their ideas. maybe start a new topic called libido and medical procedures or something..

the other thing is that sex not involving the vagina can be awesome! sex is everything from a kiss to... anything really. theres is a lot to be said for good oral sex - either way... and one thing may lead to another. even if it doesn't, the aim is just to have fun in and of itself. society gives us the belief that we have to do things a certain way - we don't.

Thanks Mystery!

We are trying a lot of things and not giving up. Last night we had sex after lots of "warming up". The thing is that my vagina works fine. She wants sex, but my mind won't let me enjoy it. When my mind is into it, sex is amazing, but if it is not, I don't. *sigh*

BTW, what is the difference between the "Advice" and "Discussions" sections. They seem like one in the same to me. (I am new, thanks!)

nicole - sorry to take off your thread, hope you don't mind...

christine, was just re-reading both of your posts and thinking some more. was the LEEP procedure to remove cervical cancer, or pre-cancerous cells or something like that? if so, could you have negative feelings about your vagina/cervix because they risked your life, or made you have a procedure etc? if its stuff like this then i recommend seeing a therapist or psychologist. maybe see if the cancer society/foundation has support people or a list of therapists to recommend. i'm sure this kind of issue has come up for other people in the past.

and about the discussion/advice section - i dont know the answer, but the D one seems to be busier, and the A one has the topics staying around longer

Nicole, sorry for taking over your thread!!!

I am starting my own advice topic...

Thanks for the help Mystery!