Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group

In my opinion, a simple no. You are not the only one that gets that way. Family members, in particular siblings, handle their parent's cancer in individual ways, it seems to me. Hopefully, these folks are coming around now while things are going well.

To me, your feelings are valid and maybe now you can get them to participate in your Mom's maintenance health. Regards, kathy

I totally understand what your talking about!As a husband who is watching his wife battle bowel cancer i too have anger isuess.Against the system and everyone else basicaly.But then I look at my lad and have to focus that anger on the positives instead.I don't know if you have a family yourself but i can tell you, you'll hurt them if you don't deal with the anger!! I always considered myself to be the big man if you know what i mean.But sometimes you have to talk to someone and have a good cry!! Keep fighting and don't be a stranger.

Yes, agree, totally. Sometimes I feel so underappreciated. I am angry with the whole system. However, things have improved and like all of us, you will have good days and bad. Hope your good days are more frequent and the bad ones -- well they will come, but, hopefully less and less often.

Tab,
You are telling my story! An online dating group that I am a part of suggested that I come to this site for help because of my bitterness and anger.

You are not the ONLY one that gets this way and I'm glad to know that I am not the only one either. My situation is similar to yours except I just have the one brother, a step-sister, and a step-brother and NONE of them help with ANYTHING. Let me take that back...OCCASIONALLY my step-sister that lives right next door to my Mom and step-Dad will take them a plate if she has cooked enough, other than that NOTHING.

I live 180 miles away from my Mom and I am there for EVERYTHING. My brother lives 20 miles away from her and doesn't even go and visit let alone help with anything. Several weeks ago my step-Dad had a stroke so not only did I go from taking care of my home (I'm a single parent), finances, and yard work, but the yard work that my step-Dad was doing was added to my list of things to do on top of the finances, doctor appointments, and household upkeep.

I think some people just get in denial, but on the other hand, I do believe some people are just selfish. My brother and I have always been very close, but this is driving a wedge between us and I hate the thought of that. I will give you a prime example, my parents live in the country and have a HUGE yard well, I could handle cutting the grass even though it is kind of hard on me, but I can NOT handle doing the weedeating. So, I asked my brother to take care of that and his reply was, why don't so and so do it, they live closer. UGH! I went off on him and told him that's what's wrong with the world today, everybody expects somebody else to do it. AND he did NOT weedeat...but he did have the audacity to go and borrow some tools from my step-Dad. He can't visit our Mother, but he can borrow freakin' tools?!!?!?!?!?!?

So yes, I'm right there with you! I will tell you this, your Mom appreciates you more than you probably know. My Mom tells me over and over and over thank you, but she doesn't need to, she's my Mom! I don't understand why my brother doesn't feel the same way I do...
Hang in there and I am here to listen if and when you need to vent.
Hugs!

caregiving usually ends up being mainly on one family member. i was the one who cared for my dear Mom through her cancer, and when all is said and done, i know that i am the lucky one, who got to spend time with my mom and make her as happy as i could. i wouldn't trade it for the world, even though it was the hardest thing i ever did in my life. you will be in my thoughts and prayers; i know how hard it is. God bless you! ((((HUGS))))

My 16 yr old daughter is 4 months into remission from germ cell ovarian cancer. Of course as her mother I was her primary care-giver, but the wide-range of emotions is definately part of the process. Anger being just one of the many.
My anger was mostly directed towards those well-meaning individuals who would say how much they understood what I was going through because their child had broken a bone once or been in the ER once.
Come here and vent when you need to. there's always someone to listen and give a hand up.

I'm not in the same position exactly but my mom is with her mom. There are 7 kids alive and almost all the care falls on her, my sister and I. I know my mom has expressed feelings of anger towards her siblings so I'd have to say the feelings your talking about are completely normal.

I get it. I also have a mother who has had ovarian cancer for 17 years and is currently back in treatment. I'm an only daughter with 2 brothers that live far away. It is so hard to be the major support besides my father. I find myself calling them when things get rough and letting them know how emotionally draining it is. I really don't know it they get it but it makes me feel better.