Family & Friends of Cancer Patients Support Group

Hi-my mom just passed from pancreatic cancer. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling and going through!! She too was the only parent I knew and my BEST friend. My mom decided to stop using a certain drug (tarceva) and stop going to sloan (one of the best cancer hospitals) and elected to stay closer to home for treatment and take a different type of chemo. This just crushed me because I wanted the absolute best of everything if just to prolong her life for even 1 more day. She tried to explain to me that it was her desicion and that they can't do anything for her to cure her it really doesn't matter where she goes. About the tarceva that she stopped taking-she told me that it MIGHT only prolong her life for a week or two and those weeks would be not pleasant ones seeing that it would be the end of her life anyway. This deveststed me TERRIBLY!! I wanted to just shake her and scream to try and get through to her what I WANTED for her. Long story short... it took a long time for me to accept (I still don't agree) that it was her descion and I had to respect that. Will I ever know if she kept going to sloan or took the exta drug?? No-I never will. But I do know that when its all said and done mom did what she felt was best for her and didn't do something that I or anyone else made or forced her to do just so it would make me feel better. I KNOW its so hard but please try and support her descision no matter how crazy it seems to you. It might and probably will devistate you but remember its moms final descision what she does-you don't want to live with MORE guilt that she did or didn't do something just because you wanted her to. Just discuss your feelings with her and let her do what she feels is best for herself. I know its hard but you can do it!! you csn write me if you want anytime!! My heart is with you--Beth

My mother as well has ovarian cancer stage 3 her first surgery was 1day before thanksgivig she needs a second surgery and chemo however she is too weak for either,doctors are not hopeful and im an only child and she too is the only parent iv ever known,Im paralized with fear she will die ,she will die soon how can i live alone in this world.We may not always see eye to eye but MOM is always an option shes my fall back guy,my sons need her why must she have soooo much pain why wasnt this found sooner ,shes only 52 shes toooo yong dont take her from me ,Im scared!