This community is dedicated to parents, siblings, grandparents, other relatives and friends of someone who is Bipolar. The purpose of this community is to help families and friends...
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i told him
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Well i did it, I told him that I wanted him to leave. I said that he needed to figure out what he wants from life and that i have to get off the crazy train. I'm proud of myself for remaining calm even when he was freaking out, because it did not go well. He started by saying that couldn't it just wait until he went back away(i trip that i don't approve of), then he said fine that he would go. But about ten minutes later i asked him if he wanted me to take the kids out so they didn't have to be here to see him pack and he lost it, he said that he wasn't leaving and that i should go. I told him that it was better for the kids to stay in their environment and that i work out of the house so i kinda have to be here. He said that he would stay here for the rest of his life to torture me. I tried to reason with him and i told him that i still love him and he siad that he didn't give a f--k, that the point of his life that he is in that he doesn't give a f--k about anything except the kids and if i take them away for him, that i might as well kill him. I would never take the kids away from him, they love him and when he spends time with them he's good with them. He left with my car but didn't take any stuff with him what do i do know? I guess that i could leave if i have to but it's better for everyone if he makes the move. Do you think that he's playing a game with me?
Posted on 06/30/08, 03:06 pm |
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I don't know that I have any advice for you, as I don't know the whole situation. I just wanted to give you some support and let you know that I think you are right for standing up for yourself and what is best for you and your kids. Hang in there and best wishes for you! 
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I think he probably went somewhere to cool off and will come back thinking that things will die down and no one will leave.Honestly I think you have to stick to your guns and if he will not leave you may have too.Otherwise he will never take you seriously when you say this again. What kind of trip is he taking?Your family is falling apart and he is worried about a trip? Sounds like he needs to get his priorities straight.Hang in there and be strong.**HUGS**
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I do not have any advice either, just support...hang in there.
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I am not terribly surprised by his response. It's pretty much exactly what you expected, isn't it. Did you actually think he would just get a suit case, pack and have a place to go?
Do I think he's playing a game with you? I don't know. But you did ask for advice yesterday, and got pretty much the same advice from most people: go to marriage counseling, so that a professional can help the two of your sort out where you each really want your lives to go. And yes, it does take work on your part even though he is the one who has BP, if you want to make your marraige work. Even if you don't, if you want to have the ending of your marriage go as smoothly and least painfully for everyone involved, you have to do work for that too. Its not as simple as stating "I want you to leave."
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Just be sure that if he has a tendency to be violent, that you call his doctor to tell them what is going on and to see if they have any suggestions in managing his behavior.
I can't give advise other than stay strong, you deserve happiness, we all do.
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Kinda sounds like mine in the I dont care about you only the kids. He left because his work is where he is. It's funny how they think all we are going to do is take the kids away. That was the thing he was scared of even though I told him many times I wouldnt. One thing I am doing is not letting him have them over night. Since he is BP and not getting treated I do not know which mood he will be in. It changes so quick with him. I wont let him hurt them again. i am hoping that will be the thing that makes him go get help, but who knows. Good luck and lots of hugs!!!
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Sounds rough and sounds scary for you and the kids. Good for you for telling him. I haven't done this yet. Please update us on what ensues. There is a good chance this is about gameplaying. Hard to tell without knowing him. I agree with bipolarbride, call his doctor. You need to keep yourself and your children safe. Take care.
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i see you posted this yesterday so i'm not sure if he came back last night, but this sounds so much like my husband and yup, he always came back eventually. i finally had to put out a protective order on him to keep him gone and get to stay in the house w/ my son. the part that really sucks though is it's completely no contact so i can't talk to him on the phone even. unfortunately i don't have any advice, but to answer your question; yeah i think it's a game.
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