A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading other members to accomm...
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Trust Issues
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I am looking for some opinions on this issue. Some time ago, almost a year, my husband had a "secret "MySpace" account on which he had many female friends. One sent him a vulgar pic that he kept posted there. He listed himself as single with no kids and that really hurt me, too. When I confronted him about it, he closed the account.
Well, now he is texting female friends on our newly added feature to our cellular account. I picked up his phone because I thought it was our son, and it was a woman from work asking him, "How was your day?" He had just come home from work, so why is she contacting him on his personal time? I am hurt again and very frustrated! Any advice? Posted on 09/06/08, 05:09 am |
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We had our first appt. with a marriage counselor today. He told the counselor that he is not in love with me. I am devastated; yet, I only cried for a few minutes, and now I'm numb. I don't know what to do next. 
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oh hun i am so sorry he said that. I have a feeling he didnt mean it, it is just angry about what happened and is taking it out on you by hurting you. It makes him feel better to blame you than to blame himself. Continue with the therapy if you all can. It is very very hard to build trust back once it has been broken. Even if it is for the sake of your kids you all will have to get along no matter what the future brings. I know the pain you are feeling, i wish there was something i could say to make it all better. Concentrate on yourself and your kids, get your ducks in a row per say.
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If he finally had the courage to tell you straight out he doesn't love you, then I say get along with your life. Use the therapy to get over this betrayal and make sure your kids grow up with the right values.
sorry if i'm being harsh. you deserve so much better. please be good to YOU for a change. hugs.
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It sounds like he is not ready to settle down and be the family man that you want and expect him to be. A married man has no business holding himself out as a single available man to the public at large. Some consider acting as such a form of cheating over the internet. Cheating doesn't necessarily mean a physical act of infidelity, it can be purely emotional. Have you sought out any legal advice on this matter?
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I have not sought legal advice because I am willing to do anything to save our marriage. I'm not giving up nor am I letting him go. He said himself that he can't afford a divorce (financially) and that he will never leave our house because of our kids.
I agree that what he was doing over the internet was cheating, but I don't love him any less.
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Relationships aren't supposed to have secrets like that. He knows what he's doing is wrong, and he's acting dumb so that he can look naive and innocent when the hammer drops. Call him on it now. If you let him continue with these misadventures, it could escalate to something even worse.
What I do with my boyfriend is this. I ask that no matter what he's doing, what he says, would he still do so if I were standing right behind him? If not, then it's something that shouldn't be done.
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Time to move on...I couldn't live with a gigolo...he has a very high opinion of himself, at your expense. I wouldn't be contacting the other women (I did that only once when I was young...never again)...get on with your precious life and respect your own life...Good luck...counseling is good, if you have the energy (I did that once, too)
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