A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading other members to accomm...
We've added new hugs! Send some love to your friends now! 
|
My daughter is in foster care
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I have a 16 yr old daughter who has gone into foster care. She is pregnant and after several attempts at living away, she came home to me. We were so happy to have her home and even though we tried to do things differently, it didn't work.
She couldn't seem to adjust to having me as the authority in the house and continued to break 4 rules we had in the household. It was a trial placement that failed. We found out after the fact she is pregnant by my 21 yr old. brother-in-law. I also found out that she was involved with him since the age of 13. I am devastated. When she left communication was good, but since she has been placed in this foster home, she has grown distant and never calls me. She only talks about "pass the time of day" type stuff and when I ask her what's going on she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I feel shut out of her life, but her caseworker says we can only have visits if my daughter asks and needless to say she isn't asking. I am grieving myself to death because I can't understand what happened between the time she left and now to make things so strained. She won't let me come to the ob with her or anything. Any advice on how I can deal with my feelings? Posted on 01/05/08, 05:01 pm |
| 3 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
It sounds like things were "strained" before she left - otherwise, why was she placed in foster care?
Perhaps her time away from you has bread some form of resentment about your relationship, perhaps she feels let down or dissapointed in some way? If she is pregnant then a lot of issues will naturally be arising for her regarding parental / mother relationships. She may be in a mode of identifying what she ideally wants to do differently or better - if this is the case then of course there will be some strain as she is prossessing all this "stuff" as there could be elements of blame etc... Give her time, give her the space she needs. If you place too much demand on her at this time because YOU are struggling with her communications with you it could just result in pushing her further away. I don't really have any ideas on how you can deal with your feelings, but maybe it could be beneficial to try to accept "what is". 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
How old was she when she had sex with the 21 year old? If she was under 18, isn't that rape?
Did you think that maybe your daughter is angry? Just my two cents worth.
|
|
|
|
||
Why did I grow up in an environment with lots of violent, rowdy people? People looked for reasons to fight & hurt …
My father raped me when i was younger. After i told wen i was 11 my moms recent husband and mom said that it didnt …
I wonder what's the point I get to- in wanting to stop pretending.. because I think I'm there. As some of you know- …
