A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading oth...
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Hi, I regret something I did. I've been having so many family issues lately, and I don't really have any close friends to confide in right now. We moved a while back and I haven't been able to connect with anyaone out here really.
Anyways, there was some phsycal abuse in my marriage directed at me by my husband. It's happened a couple of times. I always said that I can put up with alot, but if I was physically abused, that would be it. But, because of kids, I tried to just forget it. Well, I finally couldn't stand the stress of family issues etc. so I just confided in my mom who lives not near us. I don't know why, because we're not really that close and she can't keep a secret if her life depended on it. She said she would, but I know better. I'm sure she has told my sister and other siblings in the family and their like phirannas, they are going to use it against me and most likely their laughing behind my back. I thought if I tell my family then it would make my hubby smarten up and in a sense it has. He's afraid of losing me now, cause he thinks I will listen to my family and leave him etc. And he's embarrassed, cause he never thought I would say anything. So it helped in that respect, but at the cost of making me look like sniveling idiot. Anyways, I feel like a loser now and the laughing stock. This is not new either. My sister especially will do anything to make me look stupid to other people. I don't know why, she's always been this way towards me. I mean my family isn't perfect either, as no one is and they have issues also, but heaven forbid they would admit to them. The thing is, I had had it so badly, that I was kind of in tears on the phone with my mom, asking her if one of my brothers could step in, and put hubby in his place. Yes, I know, ur saying, if you have to do that, why are you still with him. I don't know. Anyways, I'm probably like I said the laughing stock and blackballed from the family. Trust me, I will get no respect now. I feel stupid for doing it. Does anyone have a family like this. Isn't it right to tell someone. Posted on 05/15/08, 12:05 am |
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Hey, Joely35,
I have a dysfunctional family too. Whenever I shared my feelings with my mother some how she turned it around and the problem I was going through was all my fault. That would hurt terribly and hurt my self-esteem. I think you shared your emotions with your mother because you needed someone to talk to and that is Ok! There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings. Have you thought of therapy? It has really helped me to talk to someone. I’m worried that your husband had been physically abusive with you. No one should ever be treated like that no matter what! You deserve to be treated with respect and love! Don’t worry about what your family thinks or what they might do or not do. Think of yourself and your children. Would he ever be physically abusive with the kids? Please remember that you are not a loser or an idiot. You are an important, special person! Your children need and love you. Hang in there and be strong and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Be strong!! You did the right thing about telling someone!!! Fiona3 
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Joely,
Please know that you are not alone in this. Every couple has their issues and it's unfortunate that you family could not be a support for you. I've been in a very simular situation but I learned not to confide in my family because they are slow to forgive. I tell myself everyday, I am the most important person in my life. I don't have time to concern myself with what my family thinks and it helps me to know that. My mother was very abusive to me and I still suffer with issues from being abused as a child. Lets pray for healing from the inside out. You should deal with you family in a Godly manner... Forgive them and that's where the healing will start for you. It takes some time but I swear to you it works.
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You were right to tell someone. And I am sorry your mother wasn't supportive like she should be. I hope you stop taking the abuse, you do not deserve to be treated like that. I made an appt. with a crisis counselor for my daughter when I found out she was in an abusive marriage... I hope you will make that call for yourself, they can help you see your options. Be strong. Hugsss
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