A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading oth...
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Distant Mother
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My mom has always been very distant. Even when I was younger she was never around very much and when she was around she never seeme interested in being with me or getting to know me. I moved out of her house and in with my dad when was 10 year old. After moving out, I saw her once in a while on the weekends and she rarely ever called me. I would call her and she would talk for a second and then have to go for some reason or another. When she got pregnant with my brother, I saw her more because I wanted to make sure I got to see my brother. Once he was born, she seemed a little more involved in my life. She got pregnant again with my second brother and the same thing happend. I saw her more on the weekends just to see my brothers and then eventually the visits were shorter and shorter and I started seeing her a couple times of year. I was always the one who tried to keep in touch and she just acted like she didnt have time for me and that she wasnt interested. I finally got the point where I didnt want to try anymore. Seeing her a few times a year turned in to not hearing or seeing her at all. I havent seen or heard from her since december 2004. I wish I knew why she was the way she is. Somedays I feel like its something I did to cause her behavior. Does anyone else out there have a similar situation with a parent? If so I would love to hear how you deal with it. It gets hard sometimes because I wish that had a mom in my life. Thanks for listening
Posted on 05/11/08, 09:05 pm |
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Its nothing you caused for your mom to be the way she is which is unfortunate for you both. 
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I agree. You didn't do anything. It sounds like she had some major issues to work out. I was adopted by my aunt and uncle and I never felt like I was 100% loved by them. And I always and still do wish to have the mother that other people have. I know it hurts terribly - like a huge hole inside of you - but you have to love yourself and keep moving on. I've kept a journal since I was a young girl and I also go to therapy. Having someone to talk to like a friend or a boyfriend really helps if you can't afford therapy. Exercise helps too. Please hang in there because I know how you feel. I blamed myself but learned later on that I had nothing to do with their lack of love.
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It really doesn't have anything to do with you causing her to be the way she is. Apparently, there is issues she has personally that causes her to be the way she is.
My situation is the opposite. I will have to spend some time here and write a journal about it. It will be good therapy for me to get my story out there for others to read and learn from. You keep on doing what you need to do for yourself for you own life, its the one thing you can make your own choices for and it has nothing to do with other peoples personal choices. I know it must be hard. Rejection of any kind is not easy to take, especially from a parent or other family member who is supposed to love you and want to be in your life. You are not alone. Keep smiling, you have a pretty smile.
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U r a very pretty young lady. Just please know u r not to blame for ur unfortunate situation. I do not know why life has to be so hurtful and espically from those we care the most for. I completely understand how u feel. My life is so similar to yours, except I am the Mother. I lost one son in death and my only son and his wife does NOT want anything to do with me or my husband (his Dad). Now his 2 children are doing the same...yes, it is heart breaking. I so wish I had answers for both of us. Some days do seem hopeless but there is a true God that brings peace to us. Pleas put you trust in him and pray for guidance. Sincerely, I will pray for you.
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Thanks for the kind words everyone:)
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