Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

(((Rene))) I never tell people what to do, but I feel you have done the right thing. My daughter is the addict in my life.
An addict never seeks recovery on a "good day" AND as long as they can manipulate and get others to keep enabling them, they will continue doing what they continue doing.
When we enable, we help to keep them sick. NOT that we are ever responsible for their disease, but we can play a part in it. And by NOT enabling, we leave them to the consequences of their using, and that is much better for everyone around. And although I hated to see my daughter in jail, at least I knew she was safe and off the streets.

I will keep you all in my prayers...Remember Nothing changes when nothing changes. And insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

I know this was very hard for you. I once had to put my daughter out of my home too, and I NEVER bailed her out of jail.

Yes, they beg and promise us everything, but I watch what they DO, not what they say. When they are begging and promising things, they are just desperate to get back out there. And back out there can mean the end of their lives, sadly.
AS we get stronger, we are able to set boundaries and stick to them. If you have not read the book Codependent No More, please do. The author is a recovering addict and she offers us So much information and insight.

My thoughts and prayers are with you...Keep us posted okay....Take a deep breath, and remember we do this ONE day at a time..
EllaBlue

I will be praying for you all. I am sorry you have to go through this.

my efforts to keep my son in jail until he went to rehab failed. His girlfriend and friends bailed him out, his father continues to enable him and he hates me right now and blames me for his arrest.
I can't take the pain anymore..watching him destroy himself. I've decided not to talk to him again until he gets some real help. I pray that he will. This is the hardest decision I have ever made.
Rene

Update on my heroin addicted son.
After staying away from him for almost two months with the exception of calling the police twice for suicide attempts, my son continued to grow closer to death. My son and his addict girlfriend are in a toxic relationship. After the last suicide attempt, his being beaten up by a drug dealer, I stepped in and called a friend and professional interventionist from out of town. His father and I who rarely speak, united in this effort. I informed my son that he had two choices now because his way was not working. First choice was to be involuntarily committed to a psych ward, or to go to a recovery center that we had picked for him. He was aware of a bench warrant out for him as well. Things turned very nasty, and after several hours he agreed to go for 30 days. Although this program is long-term..6-9 months. We didn't discuss it with him. Just got him to the place, to a hospital to detox. He went off on me about how much he hates me, blames me for everything. We've always been so close. I just said, hate me all you want, I love you and will be here when you get into recovery. He ended up having to have surgery on his arm today for an absess and infection.
He won't talk to me, calls his little sister whining and saying he wants to die. I of course feel horrible. Glad he's there, but just feel so sad. Sorry this is so long.
Rene

Stay strong, maintain your boundaries. What your son is saying is not coming from him, it's the drugs spewing that hateful garbage. Get to a NarAnon meeting, or AlAnon, NA, AA, whatever, just find support in your community somewhere. You are doing the right thing. You deserve respect. I am praying for you.

thanks for your response. I'm so worried about him. He had surgery on his arm for an abscess. Normally I'd be with him. Now I can't even talk to him, it breaks my heart. But I'm grateful he's off the street and in the hospital on the way to rehab. I know he doesn't mean the horrible things he says to me. I love him anyway.