Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professi...
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Losing his mind
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I am starting to think that my husband is actually losing his mind. I have never seen him get so angry over the simplest things. He wasn't nasty or mean to me last night but he just had all this anger, it was the "friend that ripped him off a couple weeks ago (600.00 piece of equipment) the dog, the glass that slipped out of his hand. Then he's in the kitchen mumbling about what a piece of shit HE is - then he makes a smart ass remark about our neighbor and says "see I told you I was and asshole" Then he goes to bed and I'm quite sure I heard him praying.
He has been in and out of church since he was 14 he's now 43. He goes for 6months then backslides. When he goes to church he doesn't drink and he's a totally different person. I just keep trying to deal with it the best I can and I just stayed away last night and worked on my Avon stuff otherwise I might have been called the piece of shit. Posted on 06/26/08, 11:06 am |
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He is losing control, and that is making him angry. He knows he needs help, and is afraid to do it, IMHO. 
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He sounds exactly like my heroin addicted son. He exhibits the same kinds of behaviors, with the exception of any church attendance. He'll profess faith sometimes, but never gets close enough to God to let it make a difference for ANY length of time; not even a whole day. He gets angry and hateful & will take it out on other people and also gets that way towards himself. Talks to himself, too, which is actually pretty scary when you're listening to it. I guess it's just all part of the battle of addiction.
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My bf is the same way. He professes God and has a deep knowledge of Scripture and its healing promises. He and I have read Scripture together, discussed it both in person and over the phone and we've prayed together. But there is something to be said for the verse that says, "Ye shall know them by their fruits..." Because though he is 45 days sober, he looks better, he feels better, there still is so much that makes me say "hmmmm."
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Well I just got home from work not knowing what kind of mood he would be in and he was out front and he said "Hi, I'm not in to mad of a mood today" I'm sure you wondered on your way home" and my rely "Everyday"!
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Addicts carry an enormous amount of guilt and self loathing for being an addict, hurting their loved ones, not being in control, etc. It sounds like he is beating himself up pretty good. I guess in a way you should be glad he's not taking it out directly on you.
Getting into a 12 step program would help him deal with his self hatred/anger. I hope he finds his way out. (((hugs)))
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That is one thing I know he won't do. He'll turn to God though and that works for me. When he was on the coke for 9months I prayed till I thought I couldn't pray anymore and the more Prayed did the worse he got, then I realized my prayers got finally got answered but not in my time but Gods time.
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Wonders never cease, Now he's doing the dishes.
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In my experience it's always a cycle. I have known my addict for about 6 years and he has used probably 4 1/2 of those 6. Sometimes he would stop using for months then start again. He is very self loathing at times and other times his loathing was directed at me. I know how painful it is living with an addict. The shame and confusion it brings. Just remember you have to take care of you and keep yourself safe.
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