Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professi...
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How to deal with relapse...
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I've been reading everyone's posts and I feel like I'm in the same boat, and without answers. My husband attempted suicide in a blackout drunk 1 1/2 months ago. After a 5 day stay in the hospital he was released and began an outpatient program for alcohol. He was doing so well and on his 30 day mark he relapsed. He promised the next day he would return to his therapy and work the steps.... the next day he drank again. I heard the same sob story following that episode, and the next. its been a week now and he has been drunk every other day. The only time he isn't drinking is when he is too hung over to get out of bed. He has been unemployed for 5 months now. He lost his job from drinking too much and missing too many days of work with hang overs. When he drinks he becomes a completely different person... mean and immature. We are newlyweds and i just feel like things should be different. His drinking in the months before his hospitalization just got progressively worse and I'm so afraid that is happening again. I know that I can't make his quit, that he has to want it, but how low does one person have to fall before they realize that HAVE to get clean???
Posted on 06/22/08, 11:06 am |
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Hi Cokercola...everyone's bottom is different. Sadly some never seek recovery, some do, some stay clean and some relapse MANY times before it is "their bottom" and time to work a program. I know how hard this is. I have been through it too. It is very common for them to relapse and each time they go back to drinking or drugging they get RIGHT back to where they left off.
Sadly, all we can do is work on our recovery and keep HEALHTY BOUNDARIES, to protect us. We must mean what we say and say what we mean. We stop enabling which is doing for them what they "could" and "should" be doing for themselves. If we enable we just help to keep them sick longer. We really can help to love them right into their graves. They all say they are sorry. And even if they are, that is not what they need. They need to get clean and work a program and live ONE day at a time, making their recovery a big priority in their lives. Please know I wish you all the best. A great book is Codependent No More. The author is a recovering addict and she helps US so much with our behaviors. If you have an al-anon meeting in your area I would seek that out as well. I certainly will send up lots of prayers for you and your loved one.. I am So sorry you are going through this. EllaBlue 
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