Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Trust can be regained but it is a long hard road and I believe more difficult between partners than say parents & children. I had a much harder time trusting my ex after he had lied than my parents had trusting me again after I lied to them about my drug use. However, I got help and have stayed clean whereas my ex never sought help and continued the pattern. So that may be the difference too. It took a long time for my family to trust me again and it was hard for me to understand because I expected as long as I was doing the right thing they would treat me like before I had used. Finally, I realized that I didn't lose their trust overnight nor would I gain it back that soon. After about 7mo. of recovery the deadbolts came off the doors..LOL and things were better than they were before. It is a great feeling. If he works hard, stays clean and sticks with his program you can trust again too. Hang in there. God Bless!

Thats definitly a tough question. My husband struggled with addiction to pain meds/muscle relaxants that he was prescribed, once he was able to admit he had a problem he gave me control of his meds (which i keep locked in a safe) it has been about 6 months or so for us and every little change in his behavior i feel suspicious and then guilty for feeling suspicious. It is slowly getting better but once you realize they are capable of lying to you like that regaining the trust is alot tougher. I know this doesn't help you at all, but i am right here with you trying to figure it all out. Good luck, i hope things improve.

its gonna take a long time but at least hes willing to get help, theres alot of girls out there including myself that feel the same way you do but their men are not so willing to seek treatment.. take it one day at a time.

Yeah, well, he's agreed to go to an AA meeting, but hasn't yet. It's 3 a.m. and he just came to bed smelling like a distillery. I guess I'll give this a while and then start looking at other options. What a shame. Such a good man and so messed up.

Trust is a privilege, not a right. And like so many other privileges, trust can be lost. Trust is something to be earned, not expected. Don't listen to what he SAYS....watch what he DOES! That right there will speak volumes!

What helped me most was knowing that I could only trust my daughter "ONE DAY AT A TIME". Once in a family day at one of my daughter's recovery places, they told us that the addict has to ask themselves EACH day if THEY can be trusted. It really is a day to day thing. We just cannot look any further ahead.

Many are able to stay and many just cannot. I never judge another person on that decision, I only support what is best for each individual.

It IS a long hard road. The one thing the addict learns in recovery is not to make promises. They have to approach their recovery as I said ONE day at a time. Sadly there are no guarantees with this disease..
Blessings..
EllaBlue

I am finding that many of the feelings I have had about this problem have resembled the twelve steps of accepting death. At first I was shocked and kind of in denial that he would betray my trust like that. Then it's just been grief. So many couples struggle with this. That's the word I see over and over again. Struggle. Has anyone else gone through those same feelings? Thanks for all your comments.