Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professi...
|
Worried.
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts |
I worry about my mom. A lot.
Over the past seven years, she's been through a nasty relationship with my step-dad, went through a nasty divorce, my grandmother had a stroke and then a brain aneurysm (she's fine now), and my mother's biological father died. Needless to say, she's been through quite a bit of stress, and because of that it has led to a massive drop in her weight, her hair started falling out, she has red blotches on her scalp from scratching (she happens to scratch herself when she's anxious), and she's been drinking quite a bit. She drinks nearly everyday, after she gets home from work. Usually this is considered normal, but I think normal cuts off when you've had about 6-7 glasses of wine and maybe a few glasses of rum. She turns into a completely different person when she drinks. Someone I don't like being around. She becomes loud, emotional, and sometimes she says very hurtful things. I've tried telling her about my feelings toward her drinking and that I was worried about her health, but she pretty much gave me the "I'm the mom. I know what I'm doing. Stop worrying." thing. Once she got drunk and she called my 16 year old sister a bitch to her face. My sister said, "Well, if she's gonna call me a bitch then I guess I'll start acting like one." And she dumped all of the liquor in the house right down the sink. At first my mom seemed mildly amused but later she got really heated about what my sister had done and said, "This weekend, I'm going to get drunk and there's nothing either one of you can do about it." I just don't know what to do. It hurts to even think about it. I feel like the relationship with my mom is suffering because of her drinking. Posted on 11/17/07, 03:11 am |
| 3 Replies | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts |
(((Kurom))) I know this is very painful for you. First of all, I am sorry for what you are going through.
We cannot reason or talk with and addict. The alcohol/drugs are in charge. It is a terrible thing to see, but as soon as we understand that we are POWERLESS over this disease we stop trying to reason/make sense with it, and we start out journey to take good care of us. Al-ateen is for teenagers of addicts. It is a wonderful support group as is al-anon for those a bit older. We need to learn how to cope, and how to set boundaries when there is addiction in the family. You need that support and as soon as you get that, you will begin to feel better. Recovery is really the only answer for our addicts. We cannot LOVE them into recovery and we cannot talk them into recovery. This is something that they must do for themselves. Of course this hurts. It hurts terribly to see our loved ones so sick. Please keep coming here for support and please seek out some face to face meetings for you and your sister. Learn all that you can about addiction so you understand that this is NOT YOUR FAULT and that the person you see, is not your mom. The alcohol is in charge, and as long as she drinks, she will not be someone that you can reason with, as I said. I will add you to my prayers, and again, please reach out. You do not have to do this alone.. EllaBlue 
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Your relationship is suffering - because you are not dealing with your mom - you are dealing with the drunk. Even when they are not drinking the phychological changes alcohol makes to the mind, as well as the chemical changes to the brain are very hard not only for you to deal with, but for the alcoholic. The cravings may be much too much for her to handle. Ella is right, until she recognizes and admits it is a problem - there isn't much you can do. Some would say you can help them reach their bottom faster, by cutting them out of your life. Sometimes that works, sometimes it just makes them happy you are no longer around nagging them. May be you could try talking to her about everything she has gone through in the past few years and how she feels about that. From what you have written, it looks like she is trying to "soften her pain, lonliness, or hurt," through drinking.
God Bless and Stay Strong.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts |
Thank you both for your responses.
It's hard for ME to even think/say that my mom may have an alcohol addiction. Harsh truth is just too hard for me to handle. Right now I'm just trying to be there for her when she's feeling down. I wish she would come to me like she used to with her problems and like I do with her. We used to talk about everything, and now it feels like we hardly talk about anything. At least the things that matter, anyway. It just plain sucks.
|
|
|
|
||
Last night when my mom got home from work, she got herself a glass of whatever was around to drink, like she usually …
How do you stay strong and supportive when your H tells you to your face that he would choose beer over you? And what …
..I am at the ponit in my life were I havent drank in 3 yrs mainly I presonal health reasons and the fact my dad is a …
