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Do you drink?
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Hey, everybody - I'm pretty new here and have just started trying to get help for myself in dealing with my husband's drinking. My question for you is do you drink alcohol? In the past, I would have one drink while hubby would have more. I'm always the designated driver, etc. Because my dad was alcoholic, I never drink more than 1 or 2 at the most, and then just on weekends. I'm terrified of being an alcoholic myself, but then turned around and married a wonderful man who now drinks too much. Ever since I've come on this site and read some of the AA Big Book, I've not drank at all. My husband has been surprised, but has not asked what's up. I look back and think now I was throwing in the towel, just joining him because trying to get him to stop was going nowhere. I'm just wondering what those of you who have alcoholics in your life do. Thanks!
Posted on 11/14/07, 08:11 am
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Reply #1 - 11/14/07  9:25am
" Ah, good question! I've been a abusive drinker in the past (abuse alcohol); especially in early 20's and participated in drinking with hubby all the time until life was becoming unmandagable and then stopped drinking; with exception of holiday's and special occasions and the occasional weekend drink-a-roo. But life continued to be unmanagable because it wasn't necessarily 'my drinking' that was impacting the household. Today my hub is 70 days sober, I do believe. Of course there is no alcohol in the home and the first few weeks of his sobriety he thought he could handle being around all drinkers just like 'life before' but realized quickly that it wasn't the best idea. I will have a drink or two on an occassion with my husband present but we always, always, always discuss it prior and if I'm out for the eveing (for example, sister's bach party), I will do that, stay away for the entire night...It won't have to be this way forever, but it is the way it is today and although a huge lifestyle change for me, but I'm not missing anything... "
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Reply #2 - 11/14/07  9:56am
" I have to put up with an alcohlic aswell, i may not be the same age as you or married! My mums an alcoholic and has abused me since the age of 13/14. I really feel that you need councelling to let your feelings out and get help with dealing with an alcoholic, it definatly helping me. Is he getting any help for his drinking? Going to any local AA meetings and talking to other alcoholics? Or even admits he has a problem? He needs to admit he has a problem before he can get help. He can only do it for himself and want to do it. "
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Reply #3 - 11/14/07  10:10am
" I have always had an personal issue with this. I do have the occasional drink but I have put strict restrictions on it. I absolutely refuse to drink around my daughter unless it is a glass of wine with Thanksgiving dinner. That is really the only time I drink around her. I NEVER EVER drink around my Mom. I would feel unsupportive and rude if I did. That is just my own personal feelings though. I do have a limit of 2 drinks when I go out with the girls but that is it. I will not have more than that. Alcohol scares me. My Grandpa is an alcoholic, I believe my sister drinks way too much, my brother has had problems and I am horrified to fall into that pit. "
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Reply #4 - 11/14/07  8:12pm
" In my single days, I would have a few. But once I became a parent things changed. On one particular day I had some wine and my teen son came to me the next day and said if I drink then he has neither parent. My husband is an alcoholic. It broke my heart and left a lasting impression. I may have one on holidays or with friends, but I mostly abstain. "
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Reply #5 - 11/15/07  9:15am
" Thank you all very much for your input. I greatly appreciate it. "
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Reply #6 - 11/15/07  10:17am
" I dont drink. I used to have a few drinks with my husband while we were dating, not knowing at the time the extent of his alcoholism. ONE month after we were married I saw his true alcoholic side. It was very sad, very disturbing, and very abusive and it occured while I was pregnant with my one and only child. I never had a SINGLE drink since my son was born and he just turned 6 years old. I chose not to even have the occasional drink out of respect for my H trying to stay sober and trying to set the example for my son. I personally have NO desire to drink whatsoever, could care less if I ever had a glass of wine again. now when I look back on all of this, being separated from my H for the past 11 months, I know this is just plain silly. It is his choice and his problem,not mine. however, after living with an abusive alcoholic the sight of alcohol completely turns me off and I also find that I can not even be around others that are having "too much" Warped, I know, but, it is what it is. "
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Reply #7 - 11/15/07  11:38pm
" You and I have very similar lives. I married a wonderful man in all ways except his drinking problem.MY mom was a drinker but hid it from us all her life. (she was amazing in all other ways-and never abusive)...Because of her drinking, I try very hard to keep track of what I take in. I marry a guy that thinks it's no big deal but I feel like our 10 years together have been one drunken lie also....Married 5 years, 2 kids and now I find myself regretting the vows... I just learned that My Kids have an 80% chance of being substance abusers because my mom and husband are substance abusers..
This was shocking and upsetting news to say the least. I feel for you...And I do drink, I love wine, but not all of the time. THe counselor said that it skipped me (as well as my brothers- thankfully) "
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Reply #8 - 11/17/07  2:38am
" My husband is currently in treatment for alcohol and drug abuse. I do not drink.I don't like it. I have on occassion had a couple of drinks when we would go out maybe once or twice a year, but not anymore. It's been a very long time. My mother, father, and brother drink alot. I feel surrounded by it. My husband would drink alot when we would go out. Of course, he was also using drugs I later found out about. Is he in treatment? "
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