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TRYING TO DEAL WITH LOVED ONES OD
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I WAS 10 YEARS OLD WHEN MY NIECE WAS BORN TO MY OLDEST SISTER AT 20.I WAS THE TAG ALONG BABYSITTER FOR MY SISTER AND SO THIS NEICE WAS THE SPOTLIGHT OF MY LIFE. SHE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 13 AND HAS BEEN ON DRUGS MOST EVER SINCE. DURING A CLEAN TIME SHE GAVE BIRTH TO 2 CHILDREN WHO MY SISTER PRACTICALLY RAISED TILL HER DEATH. MY NIECE WAS FOUND OCT. 17 IN A MOTEL ROOM, ALONE, BUT SOMEONE WAS THERE SHARING THIS WITH HER. I DID NOT GO TO THE FUNERAL,I AM OUT OF TOWN BUT I JUST COULD NOT GO. I CAN NOT PICTURE HER DEAD SOMEWHERE AND A STRANGER(MAID) FOUND HER. I HAD TRIED FOR SO MANY YEARS AND SO DID ALL OF US THAT LOVED HER. SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL ,,COULD HAVE HAD ANYTHING,BUT COULD NOT LEAVE IT ALONE,. I CANT PICTURE HER DEAD, I DONT KNOW HOW. I JOINED THIS FAMILY OVER MY SON, WHO IS A WORKING ADDICT, AND I FEEL SURE HE WAS AROUND HER MORE IN RECENT YEARS THAN I. PLEASE PRAY HE MAY FEEL THE NEED TO QUIT AS HE HAS SMALL CHILDREN, MY NIECE WAS ONLY 44 YEARS OLD. I MISSED HER IN MY LIFE AS I HAD THROWN HER OUT OF MY LIFE, BUT I FELT I HAD NO CHOICE. I COULDNT FACE HER ADDICTION, AS MY SONS. AM I DREAMING FOR A DREAM THAT HE WILL PUT THIS DOWN BEFORE THIS HAPPENS TO HIM? OR AM I BEING A BIG BABY NOT GOING TO SEE HER, AS I JUST CAN GO ON WITH MY LIFE AS LONG AS NOONE CONFIRMS THIS FOR ME.
Posted on 11/05/07, 08:11 pm |
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You do what is right for you!! Closure is important though but; if you cannot handle it then don't feel bad 
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I am very sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you & your son.
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it is easier to pretend there is no problem then to face a big one. for you it is dealing with a death and your son.
i deal with ignorace everyday and it is on my part and because it is easier then dealing with how lost i would feel if i faced it because those family members probably would not talk to me for awhile and for me it is my whole family other then my fiance and kids. all you can do for your son is talk to him. it is up to him to make the change. you have no control with his life and as hard is that is you need to face that. you had no control with your nieces life. she chose the path. we always think there is a miracle around the corner and IF we only said something or did something but in most cases no we have no power but to our own lives and our own choices. does it make it easier NO but you need to realize this was HER choice and this is HIS choice.
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