What is Empty Nests
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. While more common in...
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I have been through the empty nest stage, missing my daughter like mad. Then adjusting to living in a new city with no friends.
I was going along quite well and being strong, until my daughter's attitude towards me changed so much, that I felt I had never really known her. I put it down to her boyfriend, thinking he didn't like me and had influenced her, now I wonder if this was always in her but I never noticed. I am so confused, sad and utterly depressed. How can a daughter who was so close to me, turn into someone who distances me, critises me constantly and refuses to even acknowledge some important requests that I have made with regard to my next visit to her. I have now resorted to two lines e mails and no phone contact, because it inevitably ends in her shouting over me, accusing me of being difficult, misreading what I say, so that I feel that if I say any more than basics, like, thanks, I'm fine, that I will be on the end of another onslaught of insults that have gradually eroded all my confidence. I never would have believed that our relationship could become so bad, never believed that I would be living out my later years, alone and without family and so distanced from the one person who mattered so much to me, that I don't know how we will ever mend the damage. I do at times, feel very bitter, at others I feel it will pass in time, at others too depressed to get out of bed. I pray I can find some peace with this, no matter what the outcome. Posted on 09/28/08, 03:09 pm |
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I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. My daughter went through a change twards me when she first moved out, and then her Dad and Brother and I moved about 5 hours away from her and she was totally on her own. She had a boyfriend, but the rest of family like her grandma was another 2 hours away. She had to make it without any help at all. She told me that the 8 months that we were gone were hell for her, but she had to learn how to stand on her own two feet. She said that everything I had been telling her and the advice I had been trying to get her to listen to was sinking in. We are best friends now, we don't always agree on things of course but we talk it out and if she doesn't want to listen then I want talk to her for a couple of days and when she thinks about how ugly she was to me she calls back crying, saying she was sorry. Now my son is doing the same thing not calling, shutting me out, even though it drives me nuts and I really want to bend him over my knee like I did when he was 10 I just vent to my husband and if it gets bad enough I will talk to my son and tell him what a jerk he is being to me. I'm sorry I know this is not much help, what I'm trying to say is I think that kids go through this selfish stage and think they know everything, and, we are just too old to understand what it is like for them. She will come around, maybe just being brutally honest might help. If you need someone to talk to I'm online everynight, except Fri & Sat. God BLess 
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