Depression - Teen Support Group

because, it has hurt me soooo much i wonder if it is worth it. Alot of my depression is derived from love, ill tell you my story. There was a girl called kolleen, I liked her alot, but we were friends. anyways, fianlly i maneged to pluck up the courage to ask her out, she said yes, and we went out. being with her was amazing. I just felt so alive, invincible, and happy. every morning i would wake up, and be happy to be alive.

but then, it all came crashing down on me, when she broke up with me. I took it well,at first but she had lied to me...She told me she broke up with me because her parents didn't want her seeing anybody. but i later discovered that she had broken up with me to be with a boy called connor. but thats not all. she later reavealed to me, she never was attracted to me, and she only went out with me to get connor. I was for the first time in my life, HEARTBROKEN, as in the literal term. I lost almost every ounce of confidence i had, and haven't ever asked a girl out in person since.

then there was danielle when i kissed her, i felt like i was flying, in pure euphoria. she totally lifted me form all my depression, and sent me sky high in happiness. we had so much in commen, and i just felt like we had a connection, a bond. she was the first girl who ever said they loved me, and the first girl I told i loved her.

at 1:00 in the morning, she took my name out of her msn screen name. I asked why, and she told me she wants to end the relationship. a cold, feeling flowed through my stomache, and a burning lump in my throat started to emerge, i felt empty and alone once again. I couldent belive it. one second she was saying she loved me, and i was the only man she could ever want, and the next, shes breaking up with me. I used every ounce of strength to stop myself for crying all over my laptop.

the next day, she said she misses me, and wants me back. I ask her to meet up with me, call me, a few hours later, she says she dosen't, and I never spoke to her since.

Then there was Sorcha, she was differn't because unlike the others she was more, mature. she had sex, and stuff, whereas i haven't. we build a really strong relationship over about 3 months. the "L" word was being used alot too.

then, one day, we went out, and went to this dark room, the fire escape of the shopping centre to be speciic, she undressed to her bra, and i undressed to my boxers. we kissed...touched a bit...but we didn't have a condom. i dident wanna have sex without one, but she insisted we done it anyway. i refused, and went home. A couple of days later, i went on her Bebo profile, and to my shock she had found a new boyfriend called kyle. I can't belive somone would do that to their bf, just because i diden't want my first time to be a quickie up against the wall without a condom.

since sorcha, i have't gone out with anyone. but i feel so alone. i miss the feeling of a relationship, and this has lead me to severe depression. I just wish I could find somone. somone...to give me the feeling of love, the feeling of being with somone, and having somone to love...i just want it back so badly. but I can't approach woman anymore...

-Neo
Posted on 07/23/08, 12:07 pm