Depression - Teen Support Group

Okay well when I was about 13 I had three best friends since I was about 9, long story short..they fucked me over, left me out, i was alone, had no friends etc etc and it just got worse, I became paranoid, I became nasty, defensive, quiet, alone, got addicted to cutting, any self harm would do, planned my suicide and all that stuff.

Well I kinda got back on track after my sister caught me cutting deep yo' and I was all fucked and shizzle, drinking alot of vodka y'know a usual night in and she helped me through it...still helps today and i actually wouldn't be alive o_O its truefax. I still have this thing urgh but I can control it half the time.

anyway I got a best friend after that, we were amazing together, everyone wanted to be around us, we were so weird and I'm not big headed but we were so funny and we just kinda bounced off each other, it was a good feeling and we were best friends for 2years.

She used to do stuff like read my diary and then lock herself in my bathroom and cry because, well she used to get on my tits alot because she was so pretty [and knew it] yes she was a slag and fuck it, I'm not going to lie tbh. anyway she was always trying to pick fights with me [when we weren't in love with eachother] we were like sisters and she basically lived at my house and it was all good, i felt like i belonged and kinda had a reason again.

She saw me go into deep deep depression again, not sure what it was but something triggered it and i just exploded. she wasn't there but i told her about it and she seemed to understand, I never told her everything because I don't think I could ever just open up to anyone again, she wouldn't understand and there was no point.

But anyway the main thing that annoyed me was this new boy came into our school, he was fit, I liked him [didn't tell her] her being the beautiful one out of us just went for it, but not without being a cunt about it
[Her best friend for 6years was going out with him and she was with him behind her back and made it official the day after he broke up with her mate -_-]
She was with him 4months, I just stayed away and felt all fucked up again with no mates etc she was with him 24/7 but we were still kinda close and stuff but not the same. but one thing she didn't know was that he was telling me he wanted to be with me behind her back and saying all this stuff that I did NOT provoke at all and I know I didn't because I was always very blunt with him and stayed away like a good friend would.

Iv been in love with this guy I met in school, layed low with him and we were getting closer but we would never be together because he is like duh gay and I just wasn't good enough.

okay I'm rambling so ima sum it up,
"best friend's boyfriend told me he was going to break up with her, 2seconds later i get a phone call from her crying, telling me she lost her V-plates to him and she loves him, she doesn't understand etc I did my best and i fixed her and everything was okay a few weeks later.
her boyfriend was my best friend before they got together and I'm not one of those people to just disown people, i wanted to be mates with both and I would be.
That guy I was in love with- he started coming over my house and I was the happiest Iv ever been, over the moon for a good few weeks. he asked me out, I was all =O said yes, 1hour later hear he's shagged his best mate and I loose it with him. we haven't spoken since.
"best friend"- stopped talking to me FULL STOP no reason why just did, now going out with the guy i loved, sleeping with him and flaunting it in my face.

I'm back to square one with a whole lot of fucking shit, oh and atm I have a 20y.o boyfriend and i can honestly say he makes me just forget about everything and be happy but when I'm not talking to him things just rush back and i get all emo about it. haven't cut in agers :D.
I'm still best mates with that bitches ex boyfriend and I love him, he never lets me down and hes always there for me. just hope he never leaves me.
Posted on 12/29/07, 04:12 pm