This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. De...
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On My Last Straw
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I know my husband deals with a great deal of depression and anxiety...but he also has dissociative tendencies. He gets paranoid easy and blanks out most the day. He is going to therapy and taking an anti depressant, but I don't think he's being upfront with his therapist (he's a psych grad and knows how to work the system) he rarely talks to me anymore and the worst part about everything is the way he deals with our son. He is totally oblivious to him, doesn't talk to him, aggravates him, and won't take my advice on how to deal with him better (he's 2). The last year we were separated for a long time, I took him back though. I was happier without him in the house, but I can't help having guilt feelings on the fact that he is sick and maybe I should be taking care of him. I'm only 28 and I feel like I could be living a much better life. But I also feel that is selfish. My hurt and anger towards him has gotten almost out of control. I feel like he tricked me into marrying him that he hid his illness and it didn't come out until he already had a kid. How do I get him to be a better dad? Is it ok for me to leave?
Posted on 02/28/07, 10:02 am |
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I have been with my Husband for 28 years. If I had know then what you know now, I would have run so fast my shoes would have caught on fire.
I also feel trapped, like I have to take care of him. I even had a stressed induced heart attach and it still all falls on my shoulders to take care of things. He has ruined me financially, physically and mentally. Does your Husband work? Mine doesnt anymore, claims he's sick. You cannot make him a better Dad, or person. Now that my kids are grown they tell me things that happened back then, like they were not allowed to do things etc when I was not around. I know I sould angry, mad etc. I so uld this way from living 28 years with someone who has Bi-polar. Run girl Run There is no shame in caring for yourself and your child. 
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I agree. You've tried to make it work. He hid his illness which is so underhanded. If you see no change in him and he doesn't want to change, I think I would walk away too. You have to take care of yourself and your child.
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People who have depression have an illness thats not totaly their fault. Yeah they probably made the wrong decisions and regret it later on. Depression is hard on any relationship, I go through the same thing with my girl. He has to be the one that wants to get help, you are never going to be able to get him to do what you want. Depression messes with the mind so bad, there is no hapiness, just anger, grief, and the person thinks they have nothing to live for, who cares about me, etc. You have to decide, do you love this guy enough to support him for the rest of his life or you dont love him that much and do whats best for you and your kids.
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