Depression Supporters Support Group

Hi, I sometimes wonder myself if it's me that somehow turned my man from a really laid back guy to somebody who is so high strung. Of course it's not our fault but it's hard to not look for some blame in yourself. I guess it's because we so badly want to do something to help the guys we love. Welcome to the group x

Exacfly.. I want so badly to help him.. but there's nothing i can do.. the other day, i asked him if I made him happy and he responded "Nothing really makes me happy"
I went up to my room, sat on my floor, and cried for like 15 minutes.. then i got ahold of my best friend and cried more.. :(

Hi, I wish I had an easy answer. My husband has severe depression and I think about that all the time. How can we not blame ourselves (even when we know we shouldn't)? I think it's because of what mamaamie said about loving them as well as because we are such a huge part of there lives and they ours. Just try and support him and remind him be is loved. I am new here too and it has helped tremendously having support from people going through the same thing.

I think the worst is when he gets suicidal.. That just makes me feel even more worthless..

if you aren't getting anything out of this relationship, why do you love him?

I am having a hard time understanding why 'sockfuzz' is asking if you're getting anything out of this relationship. You didn't say you weren't. If you love someone you are there in good times and bad.

It's not that i'm not getting anything out of the relationship. When he's happy and in a good mood, he's nothing short of amazing... And yes, I'm in it for the good times and the bad. Lately there seem to be more bad than good times, but I'm hoping and praying it'll get better.. It doesn't help right now that he also has severe ADHD and he's out of medicine until his next doctor's appointment.. and i'm not sure when that is.

Trust me, I know exactly how you're feeling. Being on medication myself for ADD and Depression I recommend you get a prescription from the doctor asap, not taking your medication can have some serious side affects, especially for someone like your boyfriend....Don't wait for the next appointment if you can help it.

Katherine feel free to address me first person next time.

John medication is essential. Without it, you cannot have a relationship. He will not be able to function on any productive level and will only pull you down with him.

Work on setting boundaries. Insist that he get the help he needs or you walk. Period. Tough love. There is no discussion. Otherwise you enable him to engage in self destructive behaviors and to make YOUR life miserable.

There are three essential things you need to remember. They are often referred to as the THREE C's in NAMI or DBSA or other mental health groups.

The THREE C's are:

You the loved one of a mentally ill person did not CAUSE IT, cannot CHANGE IT or CURE IT.

So stop blaming yourself. He needs to take responsibility for his wellbeing. You cannot do that for him. If you enable him to continue on in negative behaviors, you are not helping him.

I should note that he hates being without medication as much as I hate him being without it, and he wants to get back on as soon as he possibly can.. he just had a history of abusing his ADHD meds, so they're a lot more controlling about when he can get it..