Depression Supporters Support Group

Hi Katherine....
I am so sorry for what you are going through.....it's so obvious that you really love your husband. You said that you have suffered through depression yourself, did you ever feel the way your husband is describing?
To be honest, it is a tough call, and I can understand why you are worried......over the years, as far back as I can remember, I have heard my mom "threaten" to take a bunch of pills....and that always always always scared me to death. I never knew if she really meant it or not......and it was hard growing up with that worry. She still says it to this day when she hits a really bad low, and I dont want to say that I dont get as upset about it, but I can only hope and pray that she wont act on it, as she hasnt in the past. I can never know for sure, but all I can do is continually offer my support and let her know that she is "needed"....in this life. It is so very hard to provide support.....especially when it is thrown back at you constantly, but you can only try. Ultimately, your husband really needs to seek some help for himself, and for you.
Do you know what has caused his depression, how long has he been like this?
For now, maybe suggest you and he go out to dinner to celebrate his good news at work???
I really hope things will get better and he will get some help, for his sake and for yours.
Hugs,
Emma

If he has moved out, let him see how it is to deal on his own. Stop making it easy for him. You cannot help him when you are constantly picking up the pieces for him. Being a sounding board. He needs to deal with the consequences of his actions. He chose to leave. Do you really want to do the push and pull dance?

Often times, this is a form of manipulation by the depressed person. They blame the spouse for their pain and suffering and think they will be better off without them. So they leave. But they find out tht "HEY, the grass isn't so green over here". Then they begin to put out the expectations of support and care. It cannot be both ways. They either have to pull their weight in the relationship or they have to leave it completely.

The whole eluding to suicice bit is also a manipulation ploy. Set your boundary. Let him know that if he talks like that, he is putting you in a position to have to call a squad. And then do it next time. Don't be a pushover. If you want to help him, then do it. If they take him in, he will be put on medication and on a psych ward. Maybe then he will take it seriously that what he is doing to you is unfair.

What's the worst that can happen? He gets mad at you. But he also gets the help he obviously needs. Either way, he is going to blame you for his depression. It is up to you as to whether you are going to sit by and let him berate you or if you are going to actually do something about it.