Depression Supporters Support Group

this is kind of personal but
here goes everything.
this happened two weeks ago and i still don't know what to do.


ok are you freakin ready?..if not turn away and read someone else's journal,cuz its going to be a bumpy ride.



today started off ok. i went over my friends house and we chatted awile just because i was pissed at other people in the house ,doesn't mean i wont talk to the others-which was my friends ben and rae. anyway

then i felt good enough to try on this sparkly sliver dress that had a low neck and low back ,kind of soap opera style, just to see if anyone would tell me if i looked good or bad in it, i got up the courage to go over to the house with it on.

they were all laying on the couch and watching movies..so i asked if my friend rae could come over to me for a min. she said she could'nt move right now. so i said its ok and took my dumb ass back over to my other friends house. THAT WAS NOT THE PROBLEM . she thought i was mad at her and i was'nt i was just realy shy and its all or nothing before the"why'd i do this, i'm ugly" mood pops in. then i was busy with my friends baby and she comes and wants to go to the store and i told my friend shala to tell rae i'm busy. shala comes and said she was mad and said fine and slamed the door. .

that made me feel bad cuz i was really busy with him and i did'nt know if shala was lying to me so i asked her twice and then she said i hate it when people think i'm lying and slams the door and leaves. now i feel like shit because the only reason why i asked her twice was beauce her sister said that she did'nt want me wearing her clothes when i know and asked shala if i could and she said ok. thats why i wanted to make sure she was not lying,but i did'nt call her a lier to her face like she said i did and i start to cut. then my ex comes and calls me a bitch,nigger and yells at me that he is going to kill me and pull me by my hair and told me to get the fuck ou and all this other stuff that i don't want to repeat.all over the fact that shala thought i called her a lier nd i din't. there is so much drama going on, so much shit. i found out it was him that read my journal and put my stuff out in the rain. wtf. i'm done with everyone over there. he yells at me in front of her and he was not even there, and then throws my stuff out and i even asked who did it.. and nobody tells me.

i'm done with everyone over there, i get treated like shit and called names to my face..i did nothing wrong, i helped clean their house, clean and take care of their kids, listen to all the secrets and don't spill and listen to their problems , help them when their down and i get treated like this. i got the message today..nobody wants me or a true friend around anymore
Posted on 04/02/08, 02:04 am