Depression Support Group

i know. life is a challenge we hav to face. but life still goes on and we have to find our own ways to go along with it.
i would care if u died. and a hell lot of people would care. hun theres alot of people who care about u on here. please say if i can help u with anything im here 2 listen

I ask these things, all the time...these questions...If I died, would anyone even know I was gone until I didn't show up for work or, until I didn't pay my rent? Today, those thoughts crept into my brain, yet again... I want to go far away...where nobody knows me... and, I do...go away, I mean..but, then...there I am...a long with all my baggage and feelings and anxiety. I don't want to die, either...don't want to hurt myself...don't want to hurt anybody else. I simply...want...to .... go... away.
As a young child, I used to believe that God would come, at the end of my life, and take me away...take me from this hurtful earth, my hurtful and seriously f'd up family. Throughout my life, I've prayed, for that day to come..Spent way too many forevers to count, crying for God to just come and take me away. He never comes though....and I am forced to go on... To keep living.

I've been reading a good book about all these sorts of feelings. John Bradshaw's, HOMECOMING. While I don't get into all these intense sorts of therapies, I am able to grasp the ideas and theories in the book. I've also found great comfort in the words of Pima Chodron's When Things Fall Apart, Wisdom of No Escape and, The Places that Scare You. Some pretty difficult reading at times but, oh so worth the effort...

Ashley...feel free to message me, if you want to talk more...I'd be more than willing to communicate...

Please, know there's somebody out there, that so completely identifies with how you are feeling...and, is willing to talk it through with you....
-peace out...

Just know your are not alone. I feel just like you do almost all the time. just knowing that there are people out there that have suffered like us and made it to end up living happy lives makes me feel better. I hope his gives you some amount of comfort that it gives me.

Hi Ashley,

The answer to most of your questions is - Depression.

That's what causes your thoughts to be as they are and gives you the bad feelings.

You hate everything about you simply because of the illness. Notb because you are worthy opf hate, you're not.

We all go through this I'm afraid and it's just so unbearable and we KNOW we are the only one feeling it.

And we are as we are all unique. But there are actually millions feeling very similar to you right now.

SO what do you do about that? Suicide isn't the answer as you don't want to die do you? You want the pain to stop.

Treatment is the answer. Asking for help and actually listening is the answer.

When I first felt this big time I recall standing in the psych's office thumping his desk demanding he fix it that day. He actually laughed at me but I understand that now. On the day I could have strangled him as I just could not handle those feelings and thoughts.

Yet I did. Through treatment, time and friends and most credit must go to my partners since then. God knows why they wanted to be withme and stay, but they did. I have been very lucky but so can you.

Sending you a big wave of peace and power to deal with this.

Best

Peg

Your young and have plenty of time to settle down, But why you are young have all the fun you can have because when you get older you'll think, WHAT A WASTE. Baz

Ashley:

You are so beautiful and have things ahead of you in this life that you will not want to miss.

I understand the feelings and thoughts, I have them at times as well. And when you feel that way it is next to impossible to be possitive.

Here is what I see:
You are beautiful
You have lots to offer
You have your whole life still ahead of you
You will not always be or feel alone.

Sometimes I feel alone even if there are people here. It is part of the depression. Hang on and rest, this cloud will pass soon.