Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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no more will to live
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this is my first time here i just managed to get myself out of bed to try my las attempt at help i have been to therapists in the past as well as crisis hotlines. i see no reason to live anymore. no i am not crazy just in so much pain emotionally and physically..as i cry everyday cry cry cry hopeless my husband copes by grabbing a movie and going in another room how can you not try and help your mate who you see crying not eating in bed i have a virus and diabetes and bad back my family is up north no friend here in florida my marriage is done and i just live here cause of no place to go i am 56 one child who hates me brothers and sisters who know about my struggle but go on with life. i hate florida and feel i exist here to just clean and cook..husband can be verbally abusive and is very self centered just tolerates me here have step son here to who is all for himself.husbands other 2 daughters are single and one hates me she is always in our marital business husband doesnt love mejust tolerates me I live for my cats..they have kept me alive had garden roses but hussband took that over he dominates it all lost interest in nature my birds and have foot problems always at one doctor or another..this is no life..tired of calling hotline and therapists who look at their watch while I am there pouring out my heart looking for help..i am tired of being disrespected feeling unloved and unappreciated...all i want is to move from here to my own place to change my life and i cannot due to finances..would rather be dead then to be stuck here like a caged animal taking care of everyone else and being doormat. i am attractive and know there are plenty of men out there who would love the relationship i need too..but cannot make changes..not easy..so I am thimking of writing my letters and then leaving this life...i cannot do this anymore this has been going on for years..this is not life..this is not living..no joy or happiness....anymore...this is insane living in a hell..i am so tired everyday same get up cry go nowhere talk to noone escept DS family..no help no end to this i dont want to go on i ccant anymore.i hate my husband for not caring ..i hate him for deceiving me and lies...my family couldnt care less...so why be here...i hurt so bad i cant even put to words. is there a last chance for me ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
Posted on 05/04/08, 08:05 pm |
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Hey
I just got done reading your profile...you sound like a fabulous person w/a ton of interests and hobbies. It sounds like you feel trapped and are in a lot of pain. Do you have friends? People who share your hobbies? Loneliness is terrible. Your marriage sounds lonely. Do you take medicine for depression? If not, would you consider it? It doesn't sound like you've had good luck w/therapists. Sorry about all the questions--just trying to get a better handle on your situation. W/B and fill me in. I do care Abbey 
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where in florida do you live? i live in hilliard. you now have your last chance. i have stumbled into your life.lol.
there is life out there for you. even if you just have to get the strength from your cats. what would they do if you were not around? think about that... do you think your jack--- husband would take care of them like you do? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!! please know that there are people that care about you whether if they show it or not.please be kind to yourself. i have diabetes that are totally out of control and depression, and thyroid problems, and high blood pressure, high choelesterol,and back problems. i struggle everyday. my liver is severely damaged due to fact that my sugar levels are always high. but i try to get up each morning and try to live my day as if there were no tomorrow. when you say your prayers each morning ask GOD to lift your burdens off your shoulders. you know HE will.
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Hi Serenity, I feel your pain. Honey all I can tell you is to stop being a door mat and start looking after yourself. Let your Husband do his own laundry,cooking,cleaning, move to another room and tell him until you feel like you are not being taken for granite that this is how life is going to be. Stick to it until things change one way or another.I am on here most of the time so write me anytime you feel like it. I will listen!
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Please don't give up!
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