Depression Support Group

My story all start far back as I can remember, when my older brother first tried to kill me by pushing me down a flight of stairs in a walker, little I knew I would end up hoping that he had succeeded.when growing up I had little to no friends, the only people I called friends would be those who didn't make fun of me or hit me, but being those who ignored me. My daily rutine was wake up go to school be picked on while at school, ignored on the ride to and from, and beat up by my brother every night. this went on till I was in high school, and by that time my brother had alread hung me, pushed down a flight of stairs, sufficated with a pillow, shot, cut, and blamed me for the reason my parents always faught about money and that they would have been better off with out me. oh and blamed me for the reason he stole stuff. By the time I got to high school, I heared every girl I met , eather get grossed out by me, or always say"Ewwww I ain't sitting next to him" but by high school I gotten much bigger and no one made fun of me directly anymore, now I was at the ignored stage. While in high school I started talking to this "nice"girl we talked alot about feeling and such and one day I asked her out(first girl I asked out) and her words burn with me still, she said"I only talked to you to better make fun of you".

Less to say that hurt, after that it was all rutine ignored at school and still beat up at home by my brother, emotionaly and phisicaly. Finaly graduation was near and prom was near and I had the guts to ask out a few more girls, unfortunately all I got was laughter and humilliation. But I was still determined to go even if it was alone, being alone in a group of cupples is enough to rip your heart out and throw it in the blender, less to say I didn't stay too long.

Finaly it's graduation everyone celibrating with their friends and familys having parties, me well closes thing I had to a party is my mom's friends coming over and saying gratz.

every thing stayed rutine until I started working, where I was working with most of those people who hate and ignore me, and being picked on at home finaly got too me I was comitted to running away, but was talked into moving to AB canada(now live) to stay with my uncle.and that year I ended up going threw over 9 jobs. but insted of be ignored, here people took advantage of me, eather my still remaining kind sole, or for the ladies after just my body it self. after 2 years of this I moved back to stay with my brother who have gone threw a dramatic change and is mostly nice, but still called me fat joke 3 times a day, and I was working for a manager who yells put me down all day every day.and this remained for a year.

then I decided to move back to my parents, got a job at a call center where this time the yelling and insults came from the customers.finaly after a year of that I decided to move back to calgary, so I decided to go over to my "friends"house for drinks,(the week before celibrated one of their friends BDay which I attended) and all my so called"friends" believe that the following week I had taken advantage of 2 drunk women, and no matter what I say they wouldn't believe.

and finaly a few weeks ago I attempted to comit suicide but I guess I need to take more then 20 extra strenght sleeping pills next time.
Posted on 09/23/07, 07:09 pm