Depression Support Group

I can only think of three reasons that keep me from doing it. Ones 10, 13, and 16. I think of how scared and alone I feel right now that the feeling of how they would feel if I did something like that scares me. I wish the pain I feel on no one. Sometimes I feel like I want to hurt myself just so I can feel the pain(physical). Alleast I would feel something other than this constant feeling of numbness. Even though sometimes in my worse depression I feel as though the whole world would be better off without me in it, I know three people who think other wise.

yes, i have often thought these types of thoughts...especially last year when i felt i had no help or hope. I used to think all the time of driving overr the side of a bridge while driving. Have tried swallowing asprin to overdose, but was so extremely sick i can even look at a asprin now without unvoluntarily getting the chills! Im really way to chicken to actually do most the things i think of...cant stand the thought of the pain if something didnt go right.

I have thought about high speed driving and driving into a pole many times. I have even gone so far as to wishing/hoping I would die instanlty, and actually feeling how peaceful it would be after such a thing would happen.
Then reality sets in and I realize that with my luck, I would probaly just be hanicapped for life.
I also have 2 girls, 16 and 6. At times I think they would be better off without me, All I can give them is an emotionally rollercoaster kind of mom....

You know lately I have been so consummed in my grief not only the grief of loosing my Dad but the grief of my life. By that I mean that I am not living the life I want to live and I feel like I can't do anything about it right now. So at times I wonder if the world would be better off without me in it. It wasn't until just now when I read some of these replies that I realized my children would feel just like I feel right now if I checked out. They would mourn the loss of me and how can I do that to them? How could I be that selfish? For the first time in my life I have had suicical thoughts just recently only for a split second and they were just the type that I was wondering you know ? Like I was thinking would my kids be better off without me? For instance I feel like I am absent anyway because I am so far into myself,I am so sad do they really have me anyway? Things like that run through my mind daily. It makes me so sad that they see me like this. Oh God then I think about the life I am living and how it isn't the one I want so I think why bother? It's such a vicious cycle when you get so down. I'm sure most of you have felt like this at one point in your depression's. I'm sure it will lift , it always does. I just hate it when this happens to me. I hate being this down.

So glad I'm not the only one who gets these weird thoughts. I was really starting to think I was losing it.

You are not alone ive thought about speeding off the high off a bridge taking medicine to the point i wont wake up all kinds of crazy things and like you i dont have the drive to actually do it. so you are not alone.

Athough I think about it so often and in all kinds of ways I could do it, my 3 kids I think would be so devestated if I did do something like that is probrally the one and only thing that has kept me from doing it I have more fear for them then i do myself and yet then I think are they gonna end up just like me ? but I have to say I have only told one person what I feel like doing latley till today but is is nice to know Im just not a freak or something.

OMG!! I feel like this all the time. I often wonder if it would hurt or how people would respond to my being hurt. Would they care? And yes, I feel the same way when I am in a good mood. Me and my hubby were in the car one day and I looked over at him and said " I wonder what would happen if you just swerved enough to ram right into that tree" and he looked at me and said " Are you fucking crazy" so I just assumed that I was. I am glad (well not glad but you know what I mean) that other people have the same thoughts cause I just chalked it up to me being physco!

You are not alone, I would never kill myself, I know what I went through when my mother killed herself. But all the same, I often wonder if anyone would care that I am gone.