Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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Who you used to Be..
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Is there anyone who feels so alone and away, from who they used to be.. which makes it worse, and more unmotivating to be involved with LIFE??
Posted on 05/17/08, 03:05 am |
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I dont even remember if I was ever anything but this. Broken and sad, so yes its hard to try and live. 
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As for me, I think I've made life harder than it has had to be by buying into various societal definitions of success. Like you, Chris, feel like I was happier 20 years ago but in reality I had problems then too just like now. Maybe I just miss my youth. Whatever, eh?
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Yes and no....part of life is change and growing. It's like the "could-have, would-have, should-have". The positive is that I haven't for a long time had to use alcohol as an escape or to numb the feelings of depression. That is not a place I miss. The positive is that after a long "war" story with Depression, I now have a med that has worked for 1 1/2 yrs and the edge is taken off. The down is that now I have CFS. I am me, all I can do is be the "best" me than I can in the here and now. If I dwell in the past, I will drown there.
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The old me always felt pressure to be perfect. The new me doesn't really give a shit lol! The old me kept busy to stop the thoughts, the new me is learning to chill. The old me was a nurse, a musician, living a lie. The new me has recognised that my past abuse has not beaten me, and WILL NOT define who I am in the future. The old me was guilt, and the new me stands tall and blameless.
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